• Home
  • About
  • Columns
  • Index
  • Programs and Events
  • Etiquetteer's Guidelines
  • Recommended Reading
  • Contact Etiquetteer
Menu

Etiquetteer

Encouraging Perfect Propriety in an Imperfect World since 2001
  • Home
  • About
  • Columns
  • Index
  • Programs and Events
  • Etiquetteer's Guidelines
  • Recommended Reading
  • Contact Etiquetteer

THIS IS ROBERT TALKING . . . Or, the Dark Side of Etiquetteer :-)

2297C58E-CAD3-4DEA-B25A-E35F09B80BE5_1_105_c.jpeg

After the captain’s reception.

Wednesday, 7 May: Summer Abroad, Day Five: Routine at Sea

May 12, 2025

Written in London after the fact, with perspective.

1) My days at sea fell into a rhythm: 7:15 AM wakeup call, morning pages, room service breakfast, dawdling, walking four laps on the promenade deck, dining room lunch with a book, more dawdling (not always a NAP), afternoon tea, gay social hour, reading or more dawdling, and dinner. Sometimes after dinner I’d see whatever was on offer in the theatre, or have a nightcap in the Commodore Club.

2) The Secret Royals: Spying and the Crown, from Victoria to Diana, turned out to be quite page turner from the beginning. I got quite far along at lunch, which featured a crab and avocado salad.

3) As mentioned, afternoon tea tables fill well before the 3:30 start of tea; it’s practically a sweepstakes. I got ringside table on the dais facing the stage this time. Before long a young woman in a floppy hat and a gauzy white dress of flowered with roses took the table next to mine. “We’ve got the best seats in the house,” she said to me. “And got here early enough to get ’em,” I replied happily.

The valiant harpist during the Parade of Waiters.

3a) The ship musicians all take turns playing at tea, and today it was the harpist. Poor thing, she could barely be heard over the din.

4) But the big event of the day was not tea, or the social hour, but the reception with the captain (to which I was invited because this was my third Cunard voyage). Which also made this the debut of my new suit, which looks, feels, and fits wonderfully.

4a) First impressions last, and the first impression the Self-Important Couple who cut into the receiving line for a photo with the captain — it will last. More proof that money can’t buy you class (as if we didn’t need more proof of that already).

The captain’s speech.

4b) Rows of waiters held out trays of drinks. I lifted off a glass of prosecco and strode about surveying the room in which I knew no one. Until I settled on a banquette and was spotted by one of those nice gentlemen from social hour. He and I had a bracing chat about Cunard, Palm Springs, and travel plans.

5) For dinner that night, I enjoyed one of the Luxury Proteins. At this point I can’t remember if it was lamb, guinea fowl, venison, pheasant, trout, or haddock, but whenever I had them, I chose them because I wouldn’t be making them at home. And they were all done flawlessly.

← Thurs-Fri, 8-9 May: Summer Abroad, Days 6-7: At SeaTuesday, 6 May: Summer Abroad, Day Four: First Day at Sea →
Subscribe

RECENT COLUMNS

Featured
Apr 27, 2025
What to Wear (or Not), Vol. 24, Issue 16
Apr 27, 2025
Apr 27, 2025
Apr 16, 2025
Signals with Silverware, Vol. 24, Issue 15
Apr 16, 2025
Apr 16, 2025
Apr 13, 2025
Table Manners, Vol. 24, Issue 14
Apr 13, 2025
Apr 13, 2025
Apr 9, 2025
Random Issues, Vol. 12, Issue 13
Apr 9, 2025
Apr 9, 2025
Apr 2, 2025
Breakups, Vol. 24, Issue 12
Apr 2, 2025
Apr 2, 2025
Mar 19, 2025
Five Table Manners to Remember, Vol. 24, Issue 11
Mar 19, 2025
Mar 19, 2025
Feb 19, 2025
Afternoon Tea in a Democracy, Vol. 24, Issue 10
Feb 19, 2025
Feb 19, 2025
Feb 9, 2025
How to Rally One's Best Society, Vol. 24, Issue 9
Feb 9, 2025
Feb 9, 2025
Feb 2, 2025
Social Media, Vol. 24, Issue 8
Feb 2, 2025
Feb 2, 2025
Jan 29, 2025
Receiving Lines, Vol. 24, Issue 7
Jan 29, 2025
Jan 29, 2025