Tuesday, August 28 - National Bow Tie Day

Today has felt like a creative renaissance after a period of a few weeks in the doldrums:

1) Why yes, today was National Bow Tie Day, and I took all those photos within 10-20 minutes early this morning - and still got to work ten minutes early. #mbtawin

1a) I had planned to do this for some time, but then - whoops, suddenly it's the day! Glad I got it done, but while done is better than good, I wish I hadn't put myself in a situation where I had to rush.

2) A bit of a breakthrough in a presentation I'm working on for next month's conference.

3) Because of an iimpromptu invitation for tomorrow night, I ended up rushing through a special project for Etiquetteer (that you should be on the lookout for on Thursday . . .) that involved moving a martini, martini shaker, lawn chair, and candelabra into the garden while wearing full-on black tie - during a heat wave.

3a) And I should mention that I popped not one but two buttons from my formal black waistcoat. My waistline has become entirely too Victorian.

3b) And the best part of it was the appearance of my third-floor neighbors, intrigued, amused, and supportive - especially the children. We ended up have some wonderful talk!

Monday, August 27

1) You know what today's big victory was? Not going to bed immediately on getting home a bit after 6 PM. I was in a complete zombie state . . . sleeeeeeeep! Somehow, whether it was Divine Providence or just changing clothes, I got my second wind and was able to write and publish a column, trim my nails, wash a sinkful of dishes, and commit a couple other Acts of Domesticity. Moral: Never give in!

1a) But that's tough, though, sometimes.

1b) The column, on the internet meltdown of a Bridezilla, may be based on a thing that's totally fictional. Part of me wonders if the Russians didn't write it to distract everyone from the President's handling of the death of Senator McCain.

1c) Oh dear. I didn't want to become one of those conspiracy theory people.

2) Earlier this year a friend turned me on to the podcast Pod Save America. I've been following one of its spinoffs, too, The Wilderness, which is about how the Dems came to find themselves lost and wandering in the wilderness. Tonight's episode about the media starts with the Kennedy-Nixon debate and brings us right up to today. For me it explained a lot about how we as a nation got to the media landscape in which we live now. Regardless of your political persuasion, I encourage you to listen in.

3) Just say no to bean salad. Pea salad, on the other hand . . .

Weekend of August 24-26 - Impressions of Ogunquit

The weekend before Labor Day has become the weekend I'm invited to visit my wonderful friend Eric at his bungalow in Wells, Maine - a convenient distance to the expansive eponymous Beach in Ogunquit.

1) I adore train travel, and my indulgence on this annual visit is to take business class on the Downeaster. It's hardly martinis-and-bridge lush-and-plushness all the way, but I love the wider seats, the proximity to the café car, and the quiet.

2) Fabulous home cooking.

3) Thank goodness I remembered my thermal bag with ice packs this year to keep our beach provisions cold!

4) Piping plovers. Do they really taste just like chicken?

5) These were my very first beach days in the entire summer. It's just before Labor Day! I didn't do this summer right.

6) Saturday tea dance at ye Mayne Street on the roof deck. A person much older than I sitting against the far wall combining all the features of my granny Dimmick, Mother Burnside from Auntie Mame, and the late Jesse Ralph.

7) Seafood dinner al fresco at a rather swish hotel restaurant overlooking the beach, including the second most Yankee appetizer, bacon-wrapped scallops. (The most Yankee appetizer is pigs in blankets.)

8) Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown made me miss 1980s hair so much! Not to mention double-breasted linen suits with shoulder pads and pleated pants.

9) Sea, sun, surf, sand, scenery.

10) Pre-train Indian dinner at ye Tylsy North featuring the best chicken tikka masala in Maine.

11) Got to chat on the phone with Mother for 20 minutes before my return train arrived at Wells.

12) End result of all of the above: gratitude.

Wednesday, August 22

1) Mid-morning we were tipped off that a Distinguished Personage (with whom I am acquainted) would be making the rounds late in the afternoon. Remembering Mother's old saying (one of very many) "A word to the wise is sufficient," I spent the rest of the morning cleaning my office space. As Kay Thompson memorably said of Audrey Hepburn's makeover in Funny Face, "There was a lot to be done!" This exercise in shredding, dust, photos, and memories saw me question my relationship with a lot of things. When the hell did I last use a stapler? A Rolodex? Why do I have all this stuff? 

1a) As it happens, the Distinguished Personage never materialized, but he ambled by while I was waiting for the bus and we ended up chatting for about five minutes!

2) I need ten matching unused white tapers. The hardware store only had seven this morning.

3) My home internet is down (perhaps indefinitely, grr) and I'm now at Doyle's in the far corner of the front room tapping away after a grilled salmon salad. Vyryzyn does not make it easy!

Monday, August 20 - Provincetown, Day Last

1) To awaken on a cool gray morning and drift through the streets before 7 AM in search of coffee. The colors of the Pride flags and leftover Carnival decorations stand out.

2) Joe not open until 9 AM (!), so happily I discovered Connie's at the food court place thingie where the HRC shop is. They sold me a good large cup of coffee and a breakfast burrito. Om nom nom.

3) Reclining in solitude on my eponymous memorial banquette, The morning went by in a flash just by reading the news and ye Fycebykke and packing.

3a) Reading, I should mention, Carrie Fisher's Wishful Drinking, discovered in one of the guest rooms. I'd not yet read it - wow.

4) Massahhhhhahhhhahhhhhge.

5) "But what has happened to the river? Buddha has called out the Sun!" Yes, after this wet, intensely gray weekend, the sun came out as I was leaving. "One of Destiny's merry pranks," to quote the late Margo Channing. By 2 PM I could only offer it a glance as I finished packing and closed up the house.

6) Shoals of people impeded my progress with suitcase up Comical Street - but then, when I'm traveling, I am very sensitive to both time and impediments.

7) Just enough time for a late lunch at my beloved Mayflower Dining before the ferry: gin and tonic and a lobster club enjoyed in a  booth in the window.

7a) For me one of the best features of Mayflower Dining is the row of 1940s-era caricatures of local residents. Just like Sardi's.

8) Waiting for the ferry and returning to To Dare More Boldly, which is quite a gear shift from Wishful Drinking. The sun had gone away again, leaving a rich gray sky of many clouds.

9) Much speculation as to the conditions of the trip. The two women in front of me had come over on the morning boat and had a rocky crossing. In the event, while the Salacious slipped and slid a bit over the waves, we had a smooth crossing and I even napped for 30 minutes.

10) Thus ends a brief but full weekend in Provincetown, full of experiences and friends, but lacking the beach.

Sunday, August 19 - Provincetown, Day Two, Part Two

1) The price of spontaneity is sometimes confusion. Since none of us had made any plans, When I felt it was time for Daddy to get fed, I searched the house and grounds, let M. Davide know I was heading off, and off I went.

2) Another sign Daddy had in his office was Alice's dialogue with the Cheshire Cat that ends "Then it doesn't really matter which way you go." So I kept drifting along Comical Street until I decided I wanted to lunch on the water, and sought out Café PayPay in the East End.

3) Miraculously, the small table for two at the center of the waterfront railing was free for me! Aperol spritz + lobster salad + To Dare More Boldly = perfect.

4) From there I drifted to PAAM, which I very rarely visit. Wonderful exhibitions. It's interesting to observe how a painting hung by itself at a far wall can come to inhabit an entire space.

4a) Aside from the exhibitions PAAM had a 12x12 silent auction going on, of 12x12 works of art by members. I was surprised to find myself bidding on a painting!

5) Ambling through almost all of the East End galleries, I saw works I loved, works I admired, and works that made me ask "WTF?" It is ever thus.

5a) In one gallery I had to ask myself "Are you in love with this painting, or are you in love with a color scheme in a silver-gilt frame?"

5b) And I was delighted to run into my friend Andrew, who is always good about sending me Articles of Interest for Etiquetteer.

6) Mercy goodness, there is a West End gallery exhibiting original works of art by ye Tym of Fynlynd! #scandalous

7) As long as I'd made it to Aretha Franklin Street, I paid a call at Hochmina-sur-Mer and chatted with the boys a bit before returning home to commit Acts of Cleanliness and Minor Surgery before tea.

8) Tea was . . . interesting, not least because I decided to have not one but two of ye Bytteslyp's lethal planter's punches. Undoubtedly the weather had something to do with the comparatively sparse turnout. I kept bringing up references to The Horror of Party Beach.

9) Just before the end of tea Daniel and I cut out to attempt a dining experience at ye Frynte Strytte. And after a considerable wait, we did get two seats at the bar for a very good dinner and some good talk.

9a) I must say, it was valuable to watch all the restaurant staff interact with each other. Some of them have clearly been working as a team for years and years. They know what they're doing and how to do it, and they take care of their people well.

10) A visit to Ben and Jerry's to feed my unborn child, and then a walk back down Comical Street in a gentle mist that grew heavier as we walked along.

11) Happy to be snug in bed now, glad I didn't get my act together enough to take the boat back tonight.

Sunday Morning, August 19 - Provincetown, Day Two, Part One

1) I slept on top of the bed - it was more comfortable not being under any bedding - and I slept five continuous hours. Later, you know how one lingers in bed, half asleep, half awake - I didn't actually rise up and try to shine until after 8:30. Fabulous.

2) I was just getting comfortable on my eponymous memorial banquette when I saw H come up the drive at a brisk clip, lower the flags from the flagpole, and then step to the front door so I could admit him. I admire his energy whereas I, like Lady June Carbery in White Mischief, "couldn't move a limb."

3) Puttering around in the celadon-and-white kitchen, H had made the best choice of the day wearing an orange T-shirt. Fabulous. And we talked and talked, and ended up having to summon M. Davide from the Potemkin cottage to help figure out how to work the coffee maker. And he was very good-humored about it.

4) M. Davide returned to his morning routine, and the other members of the house party joined us in the kitchen. Music seemed to be the theme of our talk, especially the decline and fall of Kathleen Battle, particular musical theatre and church worship experiences.

4a) And they introduced me to a Stephen Foster song I'd never heard of, "Hard Times Come Again No More." Foster's legacy seems suddenly to be limited to "My Old Kentucky Home," "Old Folks at Home (Way Down Upon the Swanee River)," and my beloved "Beautiful Dreamer." I was so grateful to hear this.

5) Surprised to find myself spending time on ye Fycebykke today (truly my mind feels blank, and my body listless) and joining a discussion about the legacy of Madonna. "Bordeline" will always represent for me the summer of 1984 and my first apartment away from home.

6) Right now I have no idea what I'm going to do next.

Saturday, August 18 - Provincetown, Day One

1) One roller suitcase + one laptop case + one raincoat + one umbrella + one retractable sign in carrying case + shuttles from Ruggles to Back Bay + all elevators out of service at Aquarium + 30 minutes total wait times = #mbtafail.

2) Rumors to the contrary, I didn't let it spoil my day! While I arrived as the ferry started boarding (which put me at the end of the line), I got a seat, a coffee, and some writing time.

3) Badass tattoos + Hawaiian print T-shirt AND shorts = mixed message.

4) Beautiful to arrive in Provincetown - beautiful and humid and unexpectedly sunny. A sweaty walk brought me to my weekend domicile, the Accommodation, where I am ensconced in the blue room.

5) Lunch at Liz's Café with M. Davide, one half of my weekend hosts, including (to my surprise) talk about film adaptations of Jane Austen novels, and much else. I do miss Tippy Toppy, the longtime diner restaurant at this site, but this new iteration is great.

6) "Oh the humidity! La humidité!"

7) Then it was time to suit up in a office polo shirt, grab that retractable sign and a bag of swag, and ankle over to the East End to the location of the event I was staffing. Indeed, it was a sweaty day.

7a) Unsurprising observation: Bradford Street will give you a completely different picture of Provincetown from Comical Street.

8) Long story short, the event was a success, with alumni present from the 1950s, 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, and 2010s. Some ferociously good conversation got going along the way! As part of my official welcome to the group I was able to offer toasts both to Aretha Franklin and to a deceased member of this alumni community.

9) Near the end, the heavens darkened and unleashed solid sheets of rain! Truly dramatic - and actually kept the party going about half an hour longer than expected. No one seemed to mind - always the sign of a good party.

10) Eventually I walked back home, paraphrasing the late Lawrence of Arabia: "The trick is not minding that you're getting wet."

11) Chez Accommodation, the traditional strawberry margaritas with candid conversation of all kinds while I was stretched out on my eponymous memorial banquette.

12) Along about eight o'clock, our house party of five sallied forth in search of some dinner, and ended up with a table on the reviewing stand at Tubular. Wonderful for me to observe the passing show. We had a bit of a sprinkle during dinner, and the air turned noticeably, blessedly cooler.

13) After dinner I struck out on my own to commit an Act of Retail and get ice cream like a naughty boy.

14) A light mist came down over the town for the rest of the evening, making my walk home a bit damp, but also strangely comfortable.

15) It's only just after 11 PM, but I'm delighted to be in bed after a long, good day.

Friday Morning, August 17

1) Back porch coffee, the last of the first package of chicory coffee. I did not come to chicory coffee until later in life - certainly it was sometime in this century and not the previous one - but it's really a treat.

2) Dispiriting weather forecast this weekend, which would be fine except for my plans to be on the Cape. OTOH, I can always pack long pants, a sweatshirt, and books, but my neighbors have a campsite on Bumpkin Island in the hahbah this weekend . . .

3) Geopolitical risk analysis is not one of my go-to topics. If you were to scan my library at home you'd find shelves of English and French history, US Presidents and First Ladies, Golden Age Hollywood, homosexuals of the mid-century, Venice, courtesans, elegant disasters, art and art history, some fiction, and of course three shelves of etiquette books. But not geopolitical risk analysis. So To Dare More Boldly is a good choice for me because it's breaking new ground.

3a) Several autumns ago we were spending a weekend in Bridgton, Maine, and spent an afternoon shopping in all the Stores of Gorgeous LIttle Things. of course I bought books, and I heard two of my friends talking about that. "What did he get this time?" "About what you'd expect, some French history book. But he did get a book about ginseng." So it's good to keep people guessing.

3b) In fact, I picked up The Affair of the Poisons on that trip, which was about a few scandals during the reigh of Louis XIV, but also a book about the history and cultivation of ginseng, particularly in the UIS, and the differences between Eastern and Western medicine. Fascinating.

Thursday Night, August 16

1) Today I had the beautiful experience of a Godspell cast reunion I never imagined would happen. Ruth happened to be passing through with her daughter, and we enjoyed lunch at ye Za in ye Kyndylle Square with conversation that went all over the map. I cannot tell you what joy this brought me. We had not seen each other in over 35 years!

2) A welcome domestic surprise awaited me at home: the wicked and evil tree near our front entrance is now gone! Rejoicing that I will now be able to see oncoming traffic when waiting for a car in the middle of the night to go to the airport.

What could be nicer than a gift from a little child?

3) Tonight concluded my 15th anniversary celebrations with a small party for the neighbors at Maison Robaire. The family from next door came with their small children; I was met at the door with a sweet bouquet of black-eyed susans and zinnias from their little girl, and their sturdy little son thrust a small pink-and-purple zinnia at me. Was that not sweet?!

3a) Besides them, the second floor owner (up from her permanent home down South) and three tenants, plus one boyfriend joined us to drink rosé and share stories about travel, soccer, the neighborhood, working in fast food, social work, and much else. I'd only intended this to be  a short party, so you can imagine my surprise when the guests left and I discovered it was 10:30! But evenings of convivial conversation are so necessary to the refreshment of the spirit. I am so happy to have drawn this group together for the evening.

Thursday Morning, August 16

1) Once upon a time I bought an antique Valentine for my gramma with a poem on it:

I must dress in my best.
I must brush up my curls
For I’m going to meet
The sweetest of girls . . . my Valentine.

And while my lunch date today was never a Valentine by any means, it's someone special from my past and requires full canonicals.

2) Good chicory coffee on my back porch reading the Times.

3) White and clear.

Wednesday Night, August 15

1) I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I am seeing so much depression out there, so much anxiety, so much uncertainty. I'm seeing it from friends, from family, from colleagues. I see it on ye Fycebykke. Hell, I see it in the mirror! Don't feel like you have to go through it alone, people, or that it's better to harbor it to yourself, or that you are less of a person for going through it. Reach out! I promise it's better.

2) To Dare More Boldly: The Audacious Story of Political Risk, by John Hulsman, is my latest book, not what people would describe as a usual choice for me. It's quite engaging after a somewhat turgid introduction, but the phrases "geopolitical risk analysis," "geopolitical risk analysts," and "geopolitical risk assessment" make me feel like I'm going to sprain my eyes. Not very euphonious, are they? And I must say, split infinitives, a pet peeve, infest this book like raisins in a fruitcake. And yet . . . fascinating.

3) Anniversary celebrations continue tomorrow evening with a very small gathering for the neighbors. I rather think this makes me dean of the condo association, since I'm the resident owner of longest continued residence. Let's hope that doesn't come with any responsibility! :-)

Tuesday Evening, August 14

1) The feeling of physical and emotional heaviness.

2) Today I finished Ward Morehouse III's The Waldorf-Astoria: America's Gilded Dream, rather a corporate hagiography gilded with some interesting social history about the iconic 20th-century hotel. Reading the chapter on the famous April in Paris Ball brought me uncomfortably back to the days of my youth, when grand events were so much a part of what I wanted to do. All the lists of the powerful patronesses, the chinchilla coats and cases of rare wines raffled off, the logistics of getting Elsa Maxwell and an elephant into the grand ballroom, trying to color-coordinate the toilet paper (which they attempted in 1961) . . . it just underscored not only how much my work has changed in the last five years, but how far my desires and interests have moved to a different part of the spectrum.

3) I am my own scullion.

BONUS: This afternoon a friend liked several - well I won't say old - several photos posted some years ago on ye Fycebykke, and it's been quite a surprise to see people getting interested in them.

Tuesday Morning, August 14

1) According to the Tuesday Briefing in the Times, today is the 48th anniversary of the opening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I will never forget the first time I saw it, during Thanksgiving break of 1981 in Detroit - the first time I'd ever been to a theatre that confiscated switchblades in the lobby. I really had no idea what to expect, especially all the costumes - color me naive! - but what I remember most is a woman behind me who screamed "WHERE'S YOUR FUCKIN' NECK?!" every time the Criminologist came on screen, when I couldn't understand what he was saying in the first place anyway.

2) Coffee in bed, which I haven't done in a long time.

3) Technically right now I'm reading five different books: Doctor Zhivago, The History of White Trash in America, The Waldorf-Astoria: America's Gilded Dream, a history of the Stork Club, and a book about political risk theory I checked out of the Athenaeum on Saturday.

Monday, August 13 - A 15th Anniversary

1) Fifteen years ago today I closed on and moved into my home in ye Jymyica Plynne, Maison Robaire. There have been some typical Adventures in Home Ownership along the way, including a couple burst hot water heaters, a middle-of-the-night leak in my bedroom closets that originated on the roof, a bathroom renovation during which I had a colonoscopy (not recommended), the Winter of 2015, and, most memorably, getting locked out in my pajamas with a migraine and having to have a neighbor boost me through a bay window after slicing the screen off.

1a) There have been some wonderful roommates along the way, too, and the Final Roommate, who was not. But all of them made positive contributions to the household in one way or another.

1b) To quote the Bad Baroness in The Sound of Music, "And I do give some rather gay parties!"

2) This is the first of the Three Fifteens, because in 2003 I had three big life events within three months. This year is the 15th anniversary of buying my home, of leaving the Pastel Prison to return to ye Instytytte, and of my 40th birthday.

3) Maison Robaire has been my home longer than any other one place except my childhood home, and in two years it'll surpass that. So grateful that things have worked out for me to be here.

Thursday, August 9 - A List

Scribbled into a notebook between meetings today, in order:

World cruise
— as a speaker?
— speak to [Insert Name of Cruise Speaker Here]
Switzerland
South Beach diet
Yoga
Guadeloupe
Invitation from English friends to Warwickshire
Crete
Delos!
[Insert Name of Artist] in Mexico City
California beaches
[Insert Name of FB Friend Here]
Chicago
Afternoon tea
Stretch
[Insert Name of Friend Here]
[Censored]
Instagram?
Printer and laptop
Charleston
Savannah
Write the Book!

Wednesday, August 8

1) Because of the Comm. Ave. road work this week, I've altered my commute to Mass. Ave. and the CT1 or #1 bus. The bonus today: catching up with a rarely-seen colleague, and then completing the last leg of the commute with her and a third colleague in a glamorous Yber!

2) There are three prominent expatriates of Lago di Carlo living in Boston (in random order): myself, the Political Insider, and the Church Organist. The former's family and my mother's family have been friendly for generations, but the latter and I moved in completely different circles; in fact, we only met several years ago here in Boston. Today he and I got to catch up over lunch at ye Eastyrn Styndyrd, celebrating our shared cultural heritage with iced tea and central air conditioning, and comparing notes and old movies over cheeseburgers. It's the best thing that could have happened today.

3) Led a brainstorm in the afternoon to get more WOW and WHIZ-BANG into some of our reunion programs.

Sunday, August 5

1) Finally getting back into a routine after the last odd week of working from home and jury duty and being sick. One of my informal resolutions this year is just to start the day if I find myself awake after 5:00 AM. At 5:13 I had to roll over like a drooling stone, but by 5:38 I was ready to haul my drooling-stone self into the kitchen to start the coffee.

2) Domesticity, creativity, and Weekend at the Waldorf.

3) About 2 PM I got invited to a rooftop view of a neighborhood music festival in Fort Hill at 5, and that motivated me to plow through more stuff on my list. The pace quickened!

4) Nearly through with Madeleine Albright's Fascism: A Warning, and I'm going to have to begin it again as soon as I finish it. I believe every American citizen should read this book!

5) My toxic thumb can't grow anything but weeds, so I am always impressed by successful gardeners. The Fort Hill Skybox featured beautiful little sunflowers, petunias, coleus, and morning glory vines trained on strings against a chimney.

6) Some sort of a cocktail with gin, fresh grapefruit juice, and Campari.

7) Blazing hot sun, conversation, tiny dogs, and good jazz off in the park.

8) Now . . . well, I know parts of this house are cleaner than hitherto, but somehow I feel like I have just as much to do now . . .

Saturday Morning, August 4

1) I dreamt that a software application was following my every move, and I could watch its progress on my computer screen. Real-time aerial footage of streetscapes with a green dot for my location. "Robert, it looks like you're trying to summon a cab," etc. etc. And I thought "I never even wanted this software in the first place!" and tried to figure out how to get rid of it.

2) Coffee is the key to the shackles of my fatigue so that I can achieve the desires of my spirit.

3) Back porch coffee on a glorious calm summer morning - not what I expected, since there wsa rain in the forecast yesterday. #nocomplaints

Friday Evening, August 3 - Le Weekend Commence

1) My nose is full of oysters. This cold needs to end. Blah blah blah.

2) I must say, reading about this QYnyn stuff is more interesting with the soundtrack of Liquid Sky in the background.

2a) But seriously, that article kept me conjuring up the next American civil war. Hear now the words of Joy Page in Casablanca: "It is very bad there, Monsieur. The devil has the people by the throat."

3) OK, P'towners: who did, or did not, get tickets to the White Party?