An email exchange:
Me: Now remember, I only have a flip phone, so texting is kinda difficult.
Gentleman: What is a flip phone?
Me:
Monday, September 18
1) Yesterday was the kind of day when people wanted to stop in my cubicle and talk. Like, a lot of people. And that was good.
2) Near the end of the day a few of us headed over to so a stealth driveby of Strobe Alley on Bldg. 4, as a possible reunion activity for families. Serendipitously, we were approached by one of the department's leaders - who, it turns out, I'd worked with before a year or so ago setting up a reception for a class - who was able to outline a few possibilities for us. #win
3) After-work meeting with the president of the History Project to talk about the script for the October 11 HistoryMaker Awards. This is the third year Etiquetteer has been invited to emcee!
Tuesday, September 19
1) Today is the birthday of Oldest Nephew Who Must Not Be Tagged. Happy birthday, Oldest Nephew Who Must Not Be Tagged!
2) Today is also the 14th anniversary of my last day of work at B***** B*****. Wow.
3) I can tell the fall is coming, because it's darker in the mornings.
Sunday, September 17
1) This morning, quietly and innocently enjoying my coffee on the back porch when the third floor neighbors - mother and both little children, appeared in the back yard looking for some train cars that had "gone off the rails." After some pleasant chat, I heard the father's voice from their balcony above: "Robert, do you want to come up for some bacon?" BACON?! Who'd turn down an offer of bacon?! In one minute I was trudging upstairs with a fresh cup of coffee. We spent a really nice half hour together over bacon, French toast, and coffee.
2) Brunch at Back Bay Beats, aka B3, with my bestest friends. We appeared to be the only party there, which was distressing; it's a great spot for brunch, and scones to die for. Chicken and waffles with a hint of jalapeno, and an aperol spritz, since I'm reading John Julius Norwich's history of Venice.
2a) Knowing how to inhabit the corner of a banquette is a real skill, and I've mastered it.
3) Such blazing, humid weather today! A harbinger of Hurricane José?
Friday, September 15
Alumni Leadership Conference, Day One:
1) Last night I suddenly remembered that it was 20 years ago this month that I joined the Reunions staff at MIT.
2) This is my 24th ALC. How on earth did that happen?!
3) For me it really started last night with a committee meeting that went better than I deserved (whew!) Today, for me, includes one presentation with colleagues, one software demo with a colleague, sitting in with a volunteer committee at lunch, and - best of all - serving as Unseen Voice of God at tonight's awards dinner.
Thursday Morning, September 14
1) Yesterday was full of impromptu, from being half an hour late to work because of an altercation between a bus driver and a dispatcher to a delightful one-hour meeting with an out-of-town volunteer to an after-five phone call from another volunteer. It's like my impromptu tank was empty and got refilled.
2) Volunteer conference tomorrow and Saturday. Yup, there's a lot to do! But some of my favorite people are coming back, and that's awesome.
3) But dear God, my feet are killing me! And my left calf is knotted. So grateful to the colleague who told me about freezing a bottle of water and using it to roll your feet on. That is 100% fantastic.
Tech Support
Yesterday I found myself on both ends of tech support, giving and receiving - and in each situation, things just would not do what they were supposed to do, and I could not figure out why.
Over the last five years or so, "explaining the Web to senior citizens" has become a larger part of my job. I'm known for my charm. It is difficult to be charming when one is confined to dialogue like "Are you on the home page? All right, when you go to the Community dropdown menu, go to Class Notes but don't go over to that second dropdown menu that appears on the right. I know that you want the most recent Class Notes page to show at the top of that dropdown menu and that it's at the bottom now, but bear with me a minute. So click on that Class Notes link in the first dropdown menu. Do you get to a page with text that begins "It's a sunny November day . . . ?" Is that the text we've been talking about? Where did it come from?"
And as is often the case, I was unable to solve the problem or answer the essential question. The only way I could save the situation was to haul out Yul Brynner from The King and I: "Is . . . a . . . PUZZLEMENT!"*
My poor colleagues have heard me comment many times that it's a cruel irony that I, an English major, should be in the position of having to explain technology to MIT graduates. But, as one of my volunteers pointed out several years ago, "Robert, we were at MIT before there was a computer science program!"
Not long after, I found myself in my volunteer's place, completely flummoxed as to how to change a P****p***t template or layout or whatever from one custom thingy** to another. These moments - how shall I say this? - they don't bring out my lighter side. But being the supplicant for tech support is an important reminder to me that I need to bring what I can cheerfully and sympathetically when I'm appealed to for assistance.
*"Always leave 'em laughing" is valuable professional advice.
** Thingy: an all-purpose technical term that means the aspect of the device you're working with at the moment that won't do what you want it to do.
Sunday, September 10
1) A full morning of coffee, news, dining room breakfast, disnwashing and other domesticy; writing, filming, and posting a column (not my best work, but as a prominent friend says "Done is better than Good), and a Luncheon of Leftovers.
1a) So often when I commit Acts of Housekeeping I'll put on something like The Maltese Falcon for a/v wallpaper. Today I needed something more active: Daniel Craig in Casino Royale.
2) Two old friends collected me shortly after 1 PM, and we made our way to the Eustis House in Milton, recently opened as a house museum by Historic New England (née the Society for Preservation of New England Antiquities). My goodness, 18,600 square feet on something like 80 acres!
3) Three generations of the family lived here, and they left as recently as 2012 or 2014. I can't imagine wanting to leave a house like this, but perhaps the burden of their history was too much.
4) The family didn't leave much of their furniture - which was actually great, 'cause this old coot could sit down every once in awhile. But all the interiors are beautiful, and the woodwork, tile, and stained glass must be seen to be believed.
5) Only one of the upstairs chambers is furnished as a bedroom. The others are given over to special exhibitions. The one now is on New England jewelry.
Closest thing they had to "an amethyst parure! *gasp*"
6) Afterward we drove off to the tavern at the Granite Links golf club with a spectacular view of Boston for late lunch/early dinner - probably what the British would call a "meat tea" - and good conversation on a wide range of topics.
7) Their GPS thingie took us through some remote parts of Dorchester, but we did at least get to see some wild turkeys along the way. Naturally I thought of Bess Truman, Raethel Odom, and the Southern reporter who called about Thanksgiving at the White House (as one does).
8) At home in the evening, I finally got something done that's been on my list for months: removing the shelf unit next to the refrigerator, since I no longer need it. OK, it's only on the back porch for now, but eventually it'll make its way to the cellar where it'll be of use again.
9) Mopping, vacuuming, laundering, and two phone conversations - and now to bed!
Saturday Morning, September 9
1) Hurricane Irma. I'm not a little scared for friends and family still in Florida, whether by choice or accident.
1a) I've seen posts on social media for both pro-Trump and anti-Trump rallies on Miami Beach for September 9-10, and for the record, I don't think either of them are funny.
2) Indebted to a F******k friend for today's inspirational Bible verse, Psalms 109.8: "Let his days be few; and let another take his office." But read the whole psalm. I don't think I ever have, and it's some imaginative Biblical cursing, e.g. 15-18: "Let them be before the LORD continually, that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth. Because that he remembered not to shew mercy, but persecuted the poor and needy man, that he might even slay the broken in heart. As he loved cursing, so let it come unto him; as he delighted not in blessing, so let it be far from him. As he clothed himself with cursing like as with his garment, so let it come into his bowels like water and like oil into his bones." Wow!
3) Aflame with outrage over this whole E*****x data breach and the company's criminally inept and deceitful response.
BONUS: Off to work today, having stayed home yesterday. Still ridiculously hoarse, and I need to be in good voice for next weekend's awards dinner.
A List for Tuesday, September 7, 2017
Hurricane Irma
Equifax data breach
North Korea
Facebook ads placed by Russians influencing the 2016 presidential election
What am I missing?
Monday morning in the hot tub.
Provincetown, Days 3 and Last
1) Sunday really could be described as a low-energy day for a few reasons: the weather (rainy and gray), the physical aftermath of the White Party (rainy and gray), and my inmost soul contemplating the end of summer (rainy and gray).
2) My host, in spite of his own rainy grayness (if any), produced a perfect little breakfast as if it was nothing: tomato and cheese omelette, saffron rice, and cinnamon toast. And blessed coffee. My mind had only room for appreciation of this bounteous, perfect breakfast (see #1). Wow.
3) Delighted that a friend came over to visit, and the three of us sat around quite a bit talking about this and that.
4) Attempts to return to sleep about noon getting me nowhere (see coffee, above), I made a masterful effort to get going and sallied forth into town along about 2 in the afternoon. My steps took me to B** & J****'s, for a large bourbon brown butter, and I savored every bite, every drop, every morsel. Not even their Pulp Addiction (chocolate orange) ice cream of Sainted Memory comes close to it. Om nom nom.
In the Biography section at Tim's Used Books, Provincetown.
4) So often at Tim's Used Books I find the perfect book I didn't even know I was looking for. And this time, after browsing no little time, I found Florence Foster Jenkins: The Life of the World's Worst Opera Singer, by Darryl W. Bullock. What joy, what rapture! Finalmente, someone who has done the research to prove that this wasn't some elaborate hoax.
4a) And in honor of this find, I am compelled to share with you my favorite of her recordings:
4b) When the time comes, I am really going to have to arrange to have this recording played at my funeral. And everyone will sigh and say "Of course he did!" As long as they don't smack their heads and ask "Why are we here?"
5) I brought some little snackies over to Hochmina-sur-Mer, and he and I sat around going over the state of the world and other things.
6) My host, who'd been out all afternoon, and I decided on different plans for the evening. Hochmina and I sallied forth to the old Tippy-Toppy, where we got a corner table. And the restaurant did get crowded. My chicken Milanese with pasta was just what I wanted, but the Portuguese kale soup could have been hotter.
7) Tarot readings and more British baking on the telly later, as well as packing for the inevitable departure.
8) Labor Day dawned bright and beautiful - the kind of weather you long for, and that we really should have had on Sunday, too. Breakfast, a bubbly soak in the hot tub, and all the chores of closing a vacation house: laundry, dishwashing, bedmaking, restocking bathrooms, etc.
9) My host generously drove me to the pier - I was really expecting to walk, and happy to do so - and it turned out I was so early for the 11 AM boat that the line for the 10:30 AM boat was only just forming. (Yes, I know you are not surprised by this!) To avoid confusion, I turned my steps back to town and to the super-secret Donut Experiment, which is behind the restrooms. Boy oh boy, do they have great doughnuts!
10) In the proper line for the ferry, I ended up next to a long-forgotten acquaintance, and not too far from that nice man I met on the ferry on Thursday evening. And of course I was very pleased to see two friends disembarking for a day trip. They picked the right day for it! I quoted Ruth Draper's "Of Doctors and Diets:" "I love this place, always so full of friends!"
11) I was fortunate to score a banquette on the first deck, and a handsome man with wide-spaced light eyes saw me and asked "Is anyone sitting there?" "You are!" I said. You can imagine my feelings when he moved enough to reveal the two-year-old boy in the stroller behind him . . .
11a) His just-as-handsome husband was not too far behind him, and I must say they seem to make good parents.
12) Later at home, I discovered film footage of FFJ!
13) I've now been home for several hours, settling back into my home, enjoying the breeze on the back porch, dining at Doyle's, and trying to prepare myself for two very active weeks at the office.
White Party 2017
What a day . . .
1) Mine host and I got into our duds and ankled over to Hochmina-sur-Mer a shade before noon to rendezvous with the others before the pre-party. To the surprise of no one who knows me, we were a bit early.
2) From there we promenaded over to the pre-party on Comical Street, and it was evident that a few reviewing stands were being set up for the eventual stream of white-clad partygoers. I must say, it's easier to do this thing in a group than on one's own.
3) The pre-party was hosted by a couple I'll call Les Bon Vivants, the center of an intensely creative and fun-oriented group. This year it was held on a deck with an unintended depression right on the harbor. Rosé, sandwiches, cake, company, and chaise longues. I have not forgotten two years ago when I wore the caftan and didn't sit down for seven hours because I didn't want to wrinkle it. I fell asleep at the dinner table twice that night . . . in a restaurant . . . so it was fabulous to recline on simple splendor during this gathering.
4) One of the best parts of this party is seeing what people wear, how they respond to the challenge of a completely white ensemble. Pre-party standouts absolutely begin with the friend who created a head-consuming mask of faux pearls and rhinestones, five musketeers complete with hats, rapiers, pearls, lace, and chest-baring bustiers; and a weather system complete with a large cumulus cloud of balloons in tow.
5) Eventually we headed off to the Big Event, and as I said, it's much less intimidating to do this as a group. That said, I'm one of those people who wants to Be There - the journey is not the destination on White Party Day - and eventually found myself at the head of the group. There was a great deal of interest from the groups assembled on Comical Street, clearly ready to enjoy the Passing Show.
6) Another reason the White Party is so special is that it is held at D**** H****, a private complex of little white beach cottages that is not open to the public, and which borders on the beach. Once you pass check-in, there's a little green lawn where they set up two bars; past that and a cottage, a stone patio with a bar and a DJ and the beach. It's a good set-up.
7) Pro tip: Always go to the patio bar first, where the line is shorter, and always get two drinks to save time later. I was taught this by pros years ago.
7a) Pro tip II: For God's sake, pace yourself!
8) A third reason the White Party is so special is that one runs into so many friends and acquaintances there. Except this year. Fewer people I knew, and more people from New York and Washington.
8a) AND, as it turns out, the Old Hometown! Later in the gathering, in line for the porta-potties, I was floored to discover that the man behind me was a native of the Old Hometown and had graduated from my sister's high school (long before she did).
9) Now we come to the section that the old Society columns might have headed "Some of the Gowns." Lots of tennis clothes this year, a narwhal with a four-foot tall horn grafted onto a helmet, a bunny with a bunch of carrots in his, uh, basket; three medusas with inflatable snake headdresses, angels, unicorns, a milkman, a group with headgear marking them a 50th birthday cake with candles, and the Pope, to whom I said "Well, you sure are putting the Ho in Your Holiness."
10) But my favorite by far was the man in the all-white outfit with the large nametag that said, "HELLO, my name is Privilege."
11) Sometime after 5 PM (!), Mine Host and I began the trek to tea dance, eventually falling in with a heterosexual couple from Ohio who had been to the White Party and had clearly enjoyed it.
12) Mine Host and I became separated at Tea, and I didn't reconnect with him until almost the end. In the meantime I ran into a few friends here and there on an increasingly crowded deck.
13) Our trip back home might be described as the meeting of Miss Grace N. Poise and Mr. Bob N. Weave. A focus on deportment brought us safely home . . .
14) . . . after which I made a foray back to Comical Street for some good ol' greezy pizza at Spiritus. Stood in line talking with a very interesting guy who does corporate events for D****y.
15) Sometimes there is just nothing better in the world than pepperoni pizza. And we consumed ours heartily, after which I was introduced to The Great British Bake-Off. Now all y'all know that I don't watch TV, so I'd heard vaguely about this show and not really known about it. Long story short, I am fascinated now.
16) Mine Host actually fell asleep before he could learn who the final winner was, so no spoilers. But it was a happy note on which to head to bed, to dream of the perfect Victoria sandwich.
Provincetown, Night 1/Day 1 Part 1, August 31-September 1
1) I tend to keep to myself when I'm traveling - Mother always taught me not to talk to strangers - but when I showed up way too early for the ferry and there was only one person in line, it's better to talk. Turns out we have mutual friends, and he has a husband. (They always have husbands.)
1a) Except when they don't, like the Man Younger Than I I met on the prow, making his first trip to P'town from [Insert Name of Big City Here]. I'd gone out to see the evening light on the harbor islands (beautiful, as always), and there he was taking it all in with a big smile. We stayed out there chatting until the first big wave came along, and then we felt it prudent to return indoors.
2) Usually the ferry crossing is smooth, but this trip there was a pronounced roll, or swell, or whatever you call that vigorous up-and-down motion of a ship on the waves. It did not disturb my gin and tonic or my nap.
3) Mine Host collected me at the pier and then prepared before my very eyes a homemade steak dinner with a "Lucullan little martini," nachos, heirloom tomatoes, hash browns, delicous mountains of Stilton, and a bottle of superb red. I envy those people who make cooking look so effortless! Lord knows I love entertaining, but I don't exactly project calm in the kitchen.
4) We talked about so much: retirement, our fathers, high school gossip, the summer.
5) After dinner the conversation moved to the hot tub with a couple Rose Kennedys (basically a Cape Codder with club soda). A large moon, luminous as a fire opal behind the clouds, gradually revealed itself. It looked a little furry because I didn't have my glasses on. Where were they?
5a) Because of course if there are Mardi Gras beads on a shelf over a bathrobe, they were meant to be worn in the hot tub.
6) Alas for me, I had indulged too well and passed one of the Worst Nights Ever: violently ill and sometimes pacing the floor with a very bad headache. Robert, when will you learn that you must never ever travel with your Advil?
7) That crisis passed, but then where on Earth were my glasses? I retraced my steps, combed, the house - nada. Ils sont disparu. Annoyed, I took a cup of coffee outside, and there they were, at the bottom of the swimming pool.
8) Now, at almost 1 PM, I'm lounging by the pool huddled in a big bathrobe on a sunny but chilly. day.
Thursday Midday, August 31
1) Packed for the Cape, and then could not find my camera. Mercifully, I'd left it at the office. Expense avoided!
1a) As usual, I'm toting a couple anvils around with me.
2) Diplomacy issues abound, mostly but not exclusively at work. The need to be forthright, smooth, and conciliatory becomes a strain sometimes.
3) This evening I'll be "on the boat for P'town!"
Wednesday Morning, August 30
1) You know how you can get quotes from dreams sometime? This morning I woke up with "Never let them spoil your fun." It was delivered by a woman world leader in a blue dress.
2) Really pleased that my Walker Memorial 100th piece got picked up by MIT News for their home page today!
3) Looks like it's going to be a chilly Labor Day weekend.
Tuesday Night, August 29
Spin the GTS Wheel and you get:
1) "And rumor hath it I have a heavy hand for insolence!"
2) "You know how bitchy fags can be."
3) "England. That is my greatest and most enduring love."
Tuesday Midday, August 29
1) I'll be mighty glad when Mercury goes direct in two days.
2) Trying to keep my chin up and concentrate.
3) "The natives are restless" vs. "The restless are native."
Tuesday Morning, August 29
1) Because why not begin the day with the Book of Revelation, Richard Strauss, and Lypsinka?
2) Yesterday I finally joined Opus Affair, but I can't complete my profile due to "Internal Server Error" or some such.
3) The simple beauty of a bowl of berries.
Sunday Evening, August 27
1) Mercy! Contributing to a teleconference that is taking place in a restaurant with bad acoustics is well nigh impossible. I earned my back porch cocktail today.
2) Concluding housework with The Dark Mirror, in which Olivia de Haviland plays good and evil twins accused of murder.
3) Insert Flirtation Here.
Sunday Afternoon, August 27
1) Again, I was so looking forward to sleeping in, but when my body decided on 6:29 AM, I just went with it. And the day has been full of productive domesticity and a column, so yay for all that.
1a) Also a one-hour eleven-minute phone conversation with a cousin.
2) Trying not to become obsessed with the small bowl of cider vinegar in the kitchen, placed there for the elimination of flies. At least it's an all-natural remedy, but still - faugh!
3) Having even one thing scheduled on a weekend day can impact my creativity. Because that one thing is omnipresent in my mind. Today it's a 4 PM teleconference for work.
BONUS: If I start laying out my clothes for Labor Day weekend now, packing on Wednesday night will be so much easier.