Even from the depths of Sunday morning coffee Etiquetteer doesn’t feel able to address the larger issue of Perfect Propriety and Beauty in retreat from the world stage. So let’s look at something more seasonal, asparagus.
Celebrity vegetable of the 19th century, asparagus was held in such high esteem that it merited its own course in a formal dinner menu, after the roast. It would then be served on its own platter on top of a cloth napkin on a tray offered by the footman. These days it’s more convenient to plate it in the kitchen. Asparagus no longer rates its own spotlight and is served with the main course as other vegetables are.
What really sets it apart now is lingering doubts about how to eat it with Perfect Propriety. It seems inconceivable that asparagus was once properly eaten with the fingers, but such was the case. Is that still Perfectly Proper today? The answer is actually “Sometimes.” Most experts recommend a two-tier approach. Starting with the asparagus tip, cut bite-sized portions from each stalk until you get to the firmer-textured base of the stalk. You may then use your fingers to pick up what’s left and eat it. The fingers are never used if your asparagus is covered in sauce, usually Hollandaise.
Do not pick up an entire stalk of asparagus and attempt to eat the whole thing. This is especially embarrassing if it’s been cooked so limp it just flops over in your hand. What Etiquetteer finds most interesting is how manners have changed to allow the knife. ”More conventional manners demand that only the fork be used” declared Etiquetteer’s beloved Millicent Fenwick in Vogue’s Book of Etiquette back in 1948. But by 1990, Etiquetteer’s beloved Letitia Baldrige teaches us to “cut the vegetable into small manageable portions with your knife and fork as you eat it.”
One hazard unique to asparagus is its fibrous woody ends. This is why you always begin eating asparagus at the tip, and why asparagus should always be served or plated pointing in the same direction.* Attentive cooks will trim off the woody ends before cooking, but in case they don’t, if it looks too splintery, leave that bit on your plate.
Etiquetteer wishes you beautiful consumption of beautiful asparagus with the sauce and company of your choice.
*It also looks terribly sloppy otherwise.