Etiquetteer has been just about submerged in domestic disruption today, with workmen drilling through ceilings and switching off circuit breakers and drinking tea instead of coffee. Casting about for something, anything to get out of the maelstrom, Etiquetteer finally found the perfect lifeline: the Christmas sweater.
All holidays have their own form of dressing up, Hallowe’en and Mardi Gras especially. The Fourth of July includes just about anything red white and blue. Easter features anything with a bunny or eggs, especially if backed with pastels — and of course an Easter bonnet “with all the frills upon it.” Saint Patrick’s Day festoons us in green with shamrocks*. Memorial Day sees traditionalists like Etiquetteer lovingly break out their white shoes.
May also be worn with a necktie.
And so Those Who Celebrate Christmas frequently break out in red and green, in designs based on all manner of seasonal decoration, and the occasional Ugly Sweater. Etiquetteer certainly hasn’t followed the Rise of the Ugly Sweater over — how long has it been, 25 years? — but definitely acquired this one long before the Ugly Sweater became a trend, or even a tradition. While not deliberately designed for Christmas, it fills the bill admirably. After 35 years, Etiquetteer can’t imagine a Christmas without it.
Christmas sweaters may be worn almost anywhere with Perfect Propriety during the holiday season. Etiquetteer says almost because Situational Awareness is just as important a part of Perfect Propriety during the holidays as at any other time. You don’t want to hear cracks about Mary Magdalene when you’re wearing that “Ho! Ho! Ho!” sweater in church . . . or at the office party. And a sweater is never Perfectly Proper at anything black tie — even if the invitation said “festive black tie.”
“Don we now our gay apparel!” Etiquetteer suspects that you, too, have favorite Holiday Garb you are probably itching to don, and would love to hear about it.
*”And beer,” you might add. But if you’re wearing your beer, you’re doing it wrong.
Just as exuberant on the reverse.