Wednesday, April 26

Today has been all about networking, all about conversations:

1) Early for a coffee meeting in Kendall Square, surprised to find myself in conversation with a young woman from the Philippines here to check out business schools. Mother always taught me NOT to talk to strangers, so this was at least one instance of me moving outside my comfort zone.

2) Two separate meetings with longtime colleagues, a luncheon with passel of elderly alumni I've known for 15 years, face time with one of the deans at same, and it all feels good.

3) Tonight it's off to the Boston Spirit Magazine LGBT Executive Networking Night (what a tongue-twister!), and remembering to bring business cards.

BONUS: My hair has become a hybrid of Ann Sothern in Nancy Goes to Rio and Marilyn Quayle.

Tuesday morning, April 25

1) There are those times when one becomes so aware of how wonderful the people in one's life are.

2) You can tell it's Mercury retrograde because scheduling is an issue on more than one front.

3) "Up like a stone" seems to be the phrase of the moment for me, but that is certainly how I feel this morning. At the office exceptionally late last night to run a webinar with a colleague, got home about 10 PM or so after dinner. Now let's slouch on into the day and get stuff done!

A Sense of Celebration

Yesterday I was asked "On Labor Day weekend, how do you want to describe the summer you just had?" And the very first word that came into my head was "Celebration."

By the end of the summer I want to celebrate professional and creative achievements. I want to be able to celebrate renewed connections with people after a period of - well, not just retreat since my father died, but of letting the rush and sloth of daily life keep me from paying attention for longer than that.

What's already on the books? One of my very best friends is getting married. I'm attending a conference at S******* University and will add a couple vacation days in San Francisco to the trip. A couple friends with hospitable impulses and vacation homes have extended weekend invitations. Of course the summer begins with Reunions, and it takes just a bit longer to recover afterward each year.

It is pleasant to think about not just how I want things to be, but how I need to take responsibility for making them happen myself.

Highlights of the Past Week

1) A small, super-relaxed cocktail gathering of nine people.

2) On Easter Sunday I'd left little baskets of chocolate eggs in front of both neighbors' doors, and was very surprised to learn that, were it not for me, one little girl would have had no Easter. My second-floor neighbors emailed this message:

"We got word that it was YOU who left the wonderful Easter basket of chocolate eggs at our door on Sunday morning-- thank you! [Child] and I opened the door and she delightfully exclaimed, "The Easter Bunny came!" With the chaos of a new baby and lots of visitors, [Spouse] and I completely forgot to put together an Easter basket for [Child]. Thank you thank you for your thoughtfulness. She has been carrying the basket around the house for the past few days and talking about the Easter Bunny."

3) Yesterday afternoon I finally unpacked and assembled the photo/lighting equipment I'd gotten from A*****. Now I can start filming Etiquetteer videos that, if not more professional, are at least less amateur.

Thursday, April 20

1) I just want a cup of coffee. I don't want to have a relationship with the (mechanical) coffeemaker. #composting

2) You pray and pray for God's path for you to be revealed. You pray for a sign, a really obvious one because you're not so good at subtlety. And then you get the sign, and even though you may not like it, you're grateful, because you have received the sign.

3) As Columbia famously, fiercely said in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, "I grow veary of zis vorld!" She said it like she was on attack, and that's how I feel.

Wednesday, April 19

1) Today is the true anniversary of Patriots Day, so let's lift a glass in memory of the men who fought in Lexington and Concord. I keep forgetting if my ancestor Private Edward Dimmick (Dimmock?) was among them.

2) Linda in Nancy Mitford's The Pursuit of Love reflected on her love of the season of spring and "its dips forwards into summer and backwards into winter." We sure are having a dip backwards right now.

3) Dining room breakfast marked by a terrific noise as of tumbrils carting the French aristorcracy to the guillotine. Turns out it's the neighbors wheeling our trashcans to the curb, and I'm hearing it at such volume because the second bedroom door is open. #roommateisgone

Five Non-Fiction Books

I was given the assignment to find five non-fiction books I like that put forward information well, and here's the list (in random order). I steered away from etiquette books and focused on books I return to often, and recent discoveries:

• Haunts of the Black Masseur: the Swimmer as Hero, by Charles Sprawson: Fascinating examination of the importance of swimming and water at different points in civilization: Classical Revival, ancient Greece and Rome, 1930s America, Victorian England, the Japan of the samurai and of Yukio Mishima, etc. etc. The author also visits many of the bathing places referenced and swims there himself, including the Hellespont.
• Misia: A Life of Misia Sert, but Charles Fizdale and Arthur Gold: I knew I'd love this book the day I read a review of it in Smithsonian in 1981. I still have the copy I bought in a used bookstore in 1984.
• Tales my Father Taught Me, by Sir Osbert Sitwell: Eccentric and interesting tales from a very eccentric family, woven together with love and humor.
• Blessed Are the Debonair, by Margaret Case Harriman: This is the story of the author's father, Frank Case, who basically created the Algonquin Hotel as the THE theatrical hotel of the first half of the 20th century (when people still lived in hotels).
• Party of the Century: The Fabulous Story of Truman Capote and his Black and White Ball, by Deborah Davis: Just found this less than a year ago, and the author tells the story well of not only how Truman put the party and its monumental guest list together, but also how the bon ton was served by designers, stylists, and publicists. Again, fascinating.

Patriots Day Morning, 2017

It has become my annual tradition to go to work on Patriots Day, though the office is closed, and take the holiday in June after Reunions, when I can really use it.

1) Up like a stone at 6:30 AM. Dining room breakfast: two eggs scrambled, two slices dry whole grain toast, small bowl vanilla yogurt and blueberries, and of course coffee.

2) Every year I hope I can be early enough for the bus to pass the barricades on Beacon Street, and every year I am disappointed. At least this year the pert bus driver, a Woman Younger Than I, let us know before leaving Ruggles that she could take us no further than Fenway Station.

2a) Still, I made good time:
8:21 AM: Disembark from CT2 bus near Fenway Station.
8:37 AM: Arrive Marsh Chapel, BU campus.
8:41 AM: Arrive Casey Underpass.
8:46 AM: Arrive office.

3) On the left, a garland of tiny Tibetan prayer flags around the base of a lamp post on the BU Bridge. On the right, a very expensive pair of white headphones hanging precariously from the end of the branch of a tree.

Easter Afternoon, 2017

1) What a great day for spring cleaning! I feel like I've accomplished something, reorganizing the bar, dusting, laundering and whatnot.

2) A surprisingly sultry day, perfect to have the windows open and to hang dry laundry.

3) Today is the first day of the year I could hear the ice cream truck's scratchy recording of "Turkey in the Straw."

Easter Morning, 2017

1) After a poor night's sleep in the second bedroom (was it the bed? bad vibrations from Roommate? my aching feet?), started the day at 7 AM with chicory coffee and the KJV Gospel of John. Still somewhat fuzzy from sleep, I found it gained from being read aloud.

1a) Immediately before or after the Gospel, I left an Easter basket in front of each neighbor's door with most of the leftover chocolate eggs from last weekend's open house.

2) I was flexible enough with my morning plans to allow myself to put on The Wizard of Oz, start a load of wash, and then (not already on my weekend do list) clean out and reorganize the bar. Now that I live alone it's safe to bring the hard liquor out of my own room and return it to its proper place. Pleasant to rediscover a row of empty bottles of rare spirits in the back row - happy memories of foreign travels and generous friends.

3) Windows open to enjoy the surprising warmth of the day. My plans may change again to allow for some raking or gardening.

Saturday morning, April 15

1) A reasonable night's sleep interrupted by alarm clock so I could be up and caffeinated for the locksmith.

1a) The locksmith, a Man Younger Than I, was a veteran who served overseas eight years. He thinks we're heading toward war.

2) Spring has come. Patches of the garden are carpeted in small blue flowers again - scilla, I think they're called - and the first two daffodils have come out. The star magnolia is starting to bloom, which means my house will be at its most beautiful for the next three weeks.

3) It's almost 9:30, but I'm still not exactly "sizzling with zeal" to get things done.

Home on my Own

1) Roommate moved out today, and it's my intention to live in my home on my own, without renting out my second bedroom.

2) This year started out inauspiciously to say the least, with my father's death, and then with the realization that I really needed to live by myself for awhile. At this moment I want to feel optimistic about the future.

3) This isn't really "reclaiming" a space as much as it's "claiming" it. Since I moved here in 2003, it's only been a very few random months when someone else hasn't been renting this room. Now I will get to use it myself, as a guest room, a study, a studio, a coatroom for parties, and for storage. I'll have to learn how to live in a "new" part of my house. And I'm looking forward to it!

Good Friday 2017 - morning

1) Wishing all who observe it a blesséd Good Friday.

2) Yesterday was such a tightly wound day for me, and today promises to be more so - but with the promise of complete relaxation tomorrow. I could almost feel my hair turning gray.

3) Prostrate in bed this morning after dining room breakfast AND washing the dishes, preparing to get dressed and work from home today. With everything going on in the house I still managed to turn out some good writing for the office.

BONUS: Rumors to the contrary, I do reflect on my own behavior, and have been turning over and over incidents where others have taken exception to me and how I've reacted vs. similar situations where I have been the one to take exception.

Thursday morning, April 13

Working from home:

1) I work better from home when I'm fully dressed. The old joke about working from home is that you can work in your pajamas, but for me, getting dressed means getting stuff done. I feel like I can be more productive and accomplish more.

2) The star magnolia in front of the house slowly starting to bloom.

3) Yesterday evening I was in a pretty low place, but this morning I feel like I can accomplish a lot.

Wednesday evening, April 12

1) Embarking on a tense few days. An informal New Year's resolution was to get more comfortable with uncomfortable conversations. So far, it doesn't get any easier.

2) Writing, writing . . . but the ideas are getting jammed.

3) What excites me? Planning for summer! Because summer is coming.

Wednesday morning, April 12

1) Getting heavily invested in one solution does not always solve the problem. It's important to consider other options, AND it's important to identify the problem correctly.

2) Breakfast in bed. Reading the news in the NYT and the Globe.

3) I have a lot of writing to do for work in the next three days.

Tuesday, April 11

1) First back porch cocktail of the year. What an unseasonably warm and beautiful day!

2) With the 105th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic this weekend, I almost feel obligated to watch the films: Titanic starring Barbara Stanwyck, Clifton Webb, a hot young Robert Wagner, and a fascinating brunette, Audrey Dalton; my beloved A Night to Remember, and the 1943 Nazi propaganda film Titanic, which I'm watching tonight thanks to the Yewtybbe.

3) Unusually, on the way home from the T station I ran into one of the two fathers in my building, with the two oldest girls from both families coming home from school; they're roughly three years old. By the end of the year there will be five children under the age of five living here. The third floor has a blessed event scheduled for the end of summer, and the second floor had a blessed event just over a week ago - of which I'd not even an inkling!

Doyle's Road Race 2017

1) A sunny day began with a very poor, tense night's sleep. I know I got at least two hours of very heavy sleep between 3 and 5:30, 'cause when I woke up a felt like I'd been spit out by a tombstone.

2) Truly a SUNNY day, but quite crisp and cool. Walking to Centre Street to D***** D***** ("Time to make the doughnuts!" I made the doughnuts.") there were times I felt like the only person out and about at 7ish AM.

3) The counter staff were just great. Made me remember that difficult three months when I worked for D***** D***** in 1984 . . .

4) Back at home I could alternate bouts of housekeeping and setup with coffee and being horizontal, since most everything had been set up the day before.

5) True to form, first guests, who were running the road race, showed up about 15 minutes early. And yay for that, 'cause it dispelled that "OMG, will anyone come?!" feeling. :-)

6) "The passing show" of runners walking (or running) from check-in at Doyle's to the starting line in Franklin Park started a bit after 10:30 AM.

7) A couple years ago my sister's family gave me a a red Solo cup goblet with a stem, which quickly became this year's must-have accessory for the road race. From the "reviewing stand" I'd hoist mine in a salute to passing runners, and it sparked some fun dialogue.

8) We decided that "mimosa" is a French verb: "Je mimose, vous mimosez, nous mimosons," etc.

9) Activity on the reviewing stand included runners pinning on their numbers, guests drinking coffee or mimosas and chatting, photographers adjusting their lenses, and more guests arriving for the fun.

10) Biggest surprise of the day: meeting my new second-floor neighbor, who was born six days ago! This is the very first baby I've met who could be described as a peanut. Teeny-tiny. I had not even been aware that they were expecting another child.

11) This is the first time I've had a party in - oh mercy, almost a year, it seems. The last entry in the guest book was January, and that was a bereavement call. You can imagine my happiness at welcoming people back into my home after so long, and on such a beautiful day, too.

12) One of my guests spotted a backpack hung on a fence across the street and formed the equation "abandoned backpack + finish line of a road race + Boston = contact law enforcement." So the police handled it all beautifully, posting an officer or two nearby, and as it happens, it had been left there by one of the runners. We're all grateful it wasn't something more serious.

13) I know my photographic limitations, so after many years of attempts I just decided I would not try to photograph the runners. Such a relief; I could enjoy the passing show all the more.

14) Was it just me, or were there fewer runners this year? I feel like it ended a lot sooner.

15) Re: running gear: if you're going to wear tights to run, there's no need to wear shorts over them. Some of the color combinations were interesting. One guy ran by in bright red and green, prompting me to ask a guest, "Wasn't Christmas four months ago?"

16) While the runners petered out about 12:30ish or so, guests kept arriving until about 1:30, and the last guest took his leave just before 3:30. When we weren't watching the race, there was interesting conversation going on on a wide range of topics I couldn't begin to remember.

17) Next big surprise of the day: being introduced to a friend of friends who ran the race - and lives two houses down from me!

18) The day concluded with a big NAP (blessed, blessed sleep), dishwashing, tidying, and dinner at Doyle's with *Consuelo and Alva Vanderbilt* to pass the time.

Saturday Midday, April 8

1) Haymarket! I always say I mean to go, and today I finally did, to pick up oranges for the road race open house and a couple other things. The Sound of Haymarket is usually the calls of vendors, but today I got a blast of Dean Martin's "That's Amore" from the fish stall at the entrance.

2) Forgot my grocery list for the Stah Mahket, but remembered all but one item on it. Yay me!

3) I have only one more set of errands today, but at the moment I'm enjoying being at home preparing for tomorrow, in no small part because Roommate is here waiting for me to leave so he can move things out without talking to me.

Saturday morning, April 8

1) In my dream, I was following my two English friends P*** and C******** who were walking ahead of me on a path into a forest. Turning, the scene changed to a wide plain on a sunny day. The foreground was full of rows of dark red velvet coffins. Many of them were open - it's almost as if this was the annual day to give the dead an airing. The corpses looked dead, but not decayed. None had died young. They were sitting up inside the velvet coffins, which were tall enough that their heads rested in a corner without sticking up over the top. The word "Russian" came into my mind in the dream; on waking, I was reminded of the burial of Yury's mother in Doctor Zhivago.

1a) In the same dream, I recall Rowan Atkinson on a date at a bar seeing a CCTV live video of Julie Andrews trapped in a restroom. He abandoned his date to go rescue her.

2) Today will be all about preparations for the road race open house: mopping, vacuuming, laundry, shopping, rearranging furniture, stuff like that. Came home last night to see small stacks of large plastic tubs of Roommate's belongings, so I hope he'll get those out today.

3) It's taking a little time to get started this morning, though.