Thursday Morning, June 21

1) I have been thinking a lot over the last few days about the old hymn:

"Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white,
They are precious in His sight.
Jesus loves the little children of the world."

And I have been wondering how many Christians who grew up singing that hymn support the President's policy and actions separating children from their families.

2) Yesterday was my first day back in the office after a couple recovery days from Reunions; at moments I felt like Grace Kelly describing her day in Rear Window. A few hours in the office to take care of some business, then a lovely buffet luncheon to celebrate a successful Commencement, after which I had to dash to the museum for a private staff tour, and then meet a vendor colleague for early drinks in the South End.

3) Devotional this morning brought me up short with The Art of Worldly Wisdom #223, Don't be eccentric: "Either out of affectation or because they don't notice, many people have notable eccentricities, and do whimsical things that are more defects than signs of distinction. Some people are known for a singularly ugly facial blemish, but eccentric people are known for a certain excess in the way they handle themselves. Being eccentric will only ruin your reputation. Your own special impertinence will rouse laughter in some and annoyance in others." And I thought, "Well, it's too late now!" For good or ill, I'm nothing if not eccentric.

Tuesday Midday, June 19

Day Four of a four-day weekend:

1) It's been beautiful having extended time out of the office to clean my house and laundry and dishes, have a very small gathering for about five friends, and some writing.

1a) I spent quite a bit of time reviewing a lot of old columns from the very beginning of Etiquetteer, and I was surprised at how snarky some of those early columns were. Has Etiquetteer mellowed?

2) Called my elected officials today about the administration's inhumane policy of separating immigrant children from their parents. Here's what the Methodist Church has to say about it. It concludes "As we continue to serve and love our neighbor, we pray for the children and families that will suffer due to this policy and urge the Administration to stop their policy of separating families." I can barely believe this is happening in the United States.

3) Last night was mostly sleepless - this is not bad, it's just something that happens - but at one point I drifted off and was dreaming that I was being told my grandmother's house was a fire risk because birds were no longer flying near it.

Father's Day Morning, 2018

1) Yesterday I was taking a white shirt off the clothesline on the back porch when I spotted a chigger on it, a red bug. And it reminded me of two things: that as a child on camping trips, the only thing to take care of a chigger bite was to paint it with clear nail polish to suffocate it, and b) the little song Daddy used to sing:

I woke up Sunday mornin' and looked upon the wall.

The cooties and the red bugs were havin' a game of ball.

The score was six to nothin', the cooties were ahead

The red bugs knocked a home run and knocked me out of bed.

Oh ho, it ain't gonna rain no more, no more, it ain't gonna rain no more!

Then how in the heck can I wash my neck if it ain't gonna rain no more?

2) It occurs to me that I'm actually spending Father's Day doing something my father used to do: walk around the house in my underwear.

3) My father and I differed in a lot of ways, but as I age I see more and more of the similarities. And I've noticed this for quite some time, but every year the focus sharpens a bit.

Friday Midday, June 15

1) Blue, white, cream, a dash of red.

2) When I do what you tell me to, and the results are what I predicted but not what you want, it's not my fault.

3) It just occurred to me that I have eight photos of my father in my office: seven family groups (including the receiving line at their wedding [see above] and my high school graduation), and one individual.

Thursday Midday, June 14

1) Quote of the Day: "The king obeys the law, for it's the law that makes him king." - from one of The Chronicles of Narnia, but I don't remember which one. At least I think that's where it's from.

2) Today's musical obsession is Barbara Cook singing "Glitter and Be Gay."

3) Such scandal reading Queen Marie of Roumania's biography! Her youngest daughter's engagement shattered because of a gay scandal in the past of her betrothed, Lexel of Pless!

Wednesday Night, June 13

1) I treated myself to lunch on the terrace of the hotel next to the office, and when I returned, I found this: a rabbit eating its lunch right it front of its own rabbit hole!

1a) I must say, the rabbits in Cambridge are breeding like, uh, rabbits. I can't think of as many sightings even two years ago.

2) This afternoon our team had a post-reunion celebration at someone's home - really nice to have a few laughs together outside the office.

3) Through ye Fycebykke, I see that a friend has identified bee balm in his new garden, and that's one of the herbs that Henry Beston writes about in Herbs and the Earth.

Wednesday Morning, June 13

1) QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Decorating was excellent therapy; the style: Moldavian Bucolic . . . She had muslin dyed bright orange for curtains; the effect was eminently satisfying. She was particularly proud of her bedroom, where the walls, ceiling, and floor were stained dark brown. On the darkened paneling behind her bed - ' a broad couch heaped up with cushions in every shade of orange' - she hung an old piece of gold brocade from a Russian church and over it an antique icon framed in silver. On the floor was a muted Turkish rug. Instead of vases, Marie put her flowers in empty shell cases of all sizes and calibers, 'heavy and rusty brown.' To complement the autumnal color scheme she added the odd bit of pottery in bright green and an occasional brass dish." -- from The Last Romantic: The Life of the Legendary Queen Marie of Roumania, the Most Famous Beauty, Heroine and Royal Celebrity of Her Time, by Hannah Pakula

2) Too cold on the back porch for coffee at 5:45 AM, but not 6:45 AM. Is it just me, or is this a chilly June?

3) Twelve weekends of summer left . . . and so few plans so far . . .

Tuesday Morning, June 12

1) Today is Uncle Bill's birthday (may he rest in peace). Even though he moved to Louisiana with his family immediately after high school, and spent the remainder of his life there, he never lost his nasal Midwestern accent. He always answered the phone "Yello."

2) So many people putting the odium in podium these days.

3) This morning . . . well, I tried to have a devotional, but the words only passed before my eyes.

Highlights from ye Reyunynnes

It doesn't help to know how the sausage is made . . . especially if you're the meat. But this year was a good year with lots of happy people. Herewith, some highlights in random order:

• Poor shoe choices impacted my experience right from the beginning. I wore my old white bucks on Thursday and by the end of the day, unexpectedly, I was near hobbling. After two solid hours of sleep, I awoke in my hotel room with a super-raging headache that nothing could help. For the rest of the weekend I wore natural linen espadrilles that a) didn't go with my dark suit, and b) didn't necessarily provide that much support, but c) gave my feet room to expand and ensured my survival. Ladies are heroines to do what they do in heels. But I got my second wind by Friday evening, and experienced no further headaches.
• I was able to thwart a hack of the 50th reunion class portrait by a Known Troublemaker. While confrontation is well out of my comfort zone, I had to approach him and inform him that he was not a member of the class (which obviously he knew) and that he would not be in the photograph. Result: while I was off to round up an additional staffer, Known Troublemaker was escorted out of the picture. Disappointed to learn while writing this that the second rule of hacking is not "Don't get caught," which I thought it was.
• After all these years at ye Instytytte and 15 years of working with 50th reunions, I had never worked Commencement. Beyond getting to stop in the Court for ten minutes in 2007, I'd never seen the action. This year, I was assigned to staff the 50th procession, and even brought up the end of the line with another colleague. Yes, it's exciting! Also, it was hot, but that's better than rain.
• A well-run box office at Pops. We get compliments from their management every year.
• As many of you know, this spring I was working with the special effects guy from the iconic 2001: Ye Spyce Yddyssyy for our program this year. Through no fault of his or mine, the program went through several iterations and changes of players, but the final result - a 15-minute film including hundreds of still images of the making of the film from his private collection, all underscored by music from the film performed live by the Pops - surpassed anything that had been considered previously. I saw him at intermission (see ablove) and he was radiant, never having seen his work set to live music. A remarkable success all around, as he was mobbed by fans.
• Last year I was asked for the first time to record the voiceover for the Big Luncheon thank-you video, and I was pleased to be invited to do so again this year. And I will not deny that a big smile took over my face when I heard and saw the final results for the first time from the sound booth at the luncheon. I love getting to do that.
• My worst nightmare, in a way, is being a liberal arts major having to solve a technical problem in front of an audience of engineers. And that is exactly what happened Saturday afternoon when carefully callibrated audio/visual arrangements were thwarted by a speaker who closed a laptop. Agony! It is agony when you have to correct something on a laptop screen and the cursor is nowhere to be found, no matter what you do! But the a/v tech managed to solve all the problems, thank goodness, and on with the show.
• Until last year, I'd never worked with alumni who were younger than I was. Then I got assigned to the 15th reunion class, and it's been a good experience. This year I stopped into their speaking program, and I was so deeply impressed with the kaleidoscope of diversity (as opposed to the classes of mostly white men that I've always worked with) and the depths of both insight and enthusiasm that they brought to their presentations.
• I had to travel between four dinners in three locations, and the one with the shortest time, my 60th reunion class, was also the one with the most touching surprise that made me feel guilty for being unable to stay longer. Essentially they ambushed me into a presentation, making me an honorary member of their class with a fulsome speech about my work with them. I almost got teary, but I managed to hold myself together. #professionalism
• The 50th reunion gala dinner was flawlessly executed, and I was able to acknowledge the non-degreed spouses in my favorite way: with a toast. "I want to acknowledge a special group of people here who have been cast into the shadows by all the red jackets this weekend, and that's the group of people who married into the class without benefit of an MIT degree. [cheers] It takes a lot of courage to marry into MIT. They say behind every MIT graduate is an astonished mother-in-law. [laughter] But it takes good taste, too, and the experience we've had this weekend would be much less valuable and meaningful without them being a part of it. So I invite the members of the class to raise their glasses with me - to the spouses!" I could tell that some of those ladies really appreciated the appreciation.
• One of the couples I traveled with in Eastern Europe in 2014 was at the dinner, and it was great to get to catch up with them after almost four years. So exuberant!
• Near the end of the evening I was astonished when a Prominent Volunteer, a woman of Unquestioned International Eminence with whose staff I worked quite a bit, approached me and said "Put down that glass of wine, I want to give you a hug." That was just one of the loveliest surprises; I was almost speechless. Wish we'd gotten a photo.
• On the flip side, it's interesting to observe how rank affects how people respond to you. I've been at ye Instytte a long time, but I am not high up on the pyramid (and that's fine). But for some people, rank determines how they compartmentalize their responses to people.
• But the real bombshell (and I'll conclude with this) came before the Big Luncheon on Saturday. A volunteer I worked with long ago (and whose involvement has decreased solely due to health, not passion) was complaining vigorously about a couple issues (which happens - hell, I have been that volunteer myself, so I have no leg to stand on). I talked him down, and the conversation turned to the first reunion we'd worked on 20 years before. And he shocked me by saying "Robert, you know . . . you're pretty out there with your sexuality, and when we started working together I didn't have a very good opinion of gay people. Working with you changed my opinions." Frankly, I was floored. First, I had had no idea he'd even had any issues with me, so his confession came as a complete shock. And then I thought of Evie Adams in Girls Will Be Girls saying "It feels so good to make a difference."

Wednesday Night, June 6

1) It all starts tomorrow. Thankful for clarity on some issues, tearing my hair out over others. In other words, just like every other year.

2) Unlike previous years, I swear I covered the ground of the entire campus at least three times, and ended up hauling a lot of heavy boxes almost all the time.

3) In the afternoon I was summoned to the court to check out some of the arrangements for Commencement. After all these years, I will be working my first Commencement! It's exciting, and anxious-making at the same time.

Wednesday Morning, June 6

1) The quiet of an hour in bed, reading the news. In five minutes I have to get in the shower; in 30 minutes I have to leave for the office for the last day before Reunions begin.

2) For many years now I've sent this video clip to my colleagues early in the week of Reunions. "But you keep your feet on the ground, and your head on those shoulders of yours, and gpo out and Sawyer . . . you're going out there a youngster, but you've got to come back a STAR!"

2a) No lie, this tune stays in my head the entire weekend. Except for Pops, when Arthur Fiedler's arrangement of "Strike Up the Band" takes over.

3) For those of you used to getting here via a link on ye Fycebykke . . . I just can't deal with ye Fycebykke this week.

Monday Evening, June 4

1) Yup, I had quite a few moments like this today.

2) And yet . . . so pleased about several things that went off successfully.

3) When in doubt, clean up.

Sunday Night, June 3

1) This day was such a gift. Nothing extraordinary, but a gift.

2) "It took Flaubert thirteen years to write Madame Bovary!"

3) It's always risky to do a tarot reading right before Reunions, but I did do a tarot reading, and it was a good reading. By which I mean that it wasn't a prediction of dire failure.

Sunday Morning, June 3

1) My last full day off before the rush and excitement of Reunions. Back porch coffee, deeply, quietly happy about this sunny, cool day to be at home and in my garden. I am surprisingly calm compared to this day in previous years.

2) This house looks like a laundry truck exploded inside a library.

3) Daddy wrote me once, long ago, "We must concentrate on lovely, pure, and virtuous things." I kept coming back to that this week with the latest national dialogue about language, prompted first by Roseanne Barr and then by Samantha Bee.

Saturday Night, June 2

1) The most important thing I had to do this morning was pick up my shirts at the cleaners.

2) I got to the office a shade before 11 AM and left a shade before 7 PM, accomplishing so much so calmly in a deserted office. I could put on Sudden Fear and Forever Amber for audio/visual wallpaper without earbuds and not bother anyone.

3) Leaving the office, I walked in the beautifully cool evening all the way to Mass. Ave. station. And I thought what it might be like to leave this city I love so much in 20 years, in ten years, if life called me elsewhere.

Saturday Morning, June 2

1) Finalmente, after seeing peonies blooming all over the place for weeks, my own peonies have at last bloomed. Not all of them, not yet. Last night there were two, this morning maybe five. I cut one to bring in the house ( a single peony in a vase is a work of art) and already its delicate scent, more delicate than a rose's, inhabits the whole room.

1a) Now I am hoping that a big rain will not pound them into the ground, as so often happens. In an absence of string I've tied them up with broken Mardi Gras beads, but that doesn't guarantee anything.

1b) Observe the ant in the photo above. I forget which horticulturally-minded friend told me that peonies need ants to eat off the sucrose-based film that covers the buds, but I have no reason to disbelieve it, and have often seen them on the peonies.

2) I'd been prompted to make my reunion etiquette presentation at yesterday's staff training more fun, which led to including images from the royal wedding and the Met gala on what not to wear - and to a successful presentation.

3) Right now, enjoying the sun and mild humidity on my back porch before heading to the office. If I'm able to accomplish enough today, I can rest up all day tomorrow.

Friday Morning, June 1

1) Yesterday night I was draming about walking and there was a swinging string of crystal beads. It arced over and behind my head, and I felt abig thunk as the large crystal at the end of the string hit me in the back of the head! I remember seeing it and only it; a chunk had broken off due to the impact. Then I woke up (it was about 2 AM) and shortly I had a terrific headache.

1a) THIS morning I'm having back porch coffee, work email, and social media.

1b) Yesterday I also completely forgot about a 9 AM appointment on campus. I have another one today that I am NOT forgetting.

2) Yesterday was the closest I've come to having a freakout - so much to handle in a shrinking amount of time. But that usually happens much sooner so . . . progress?

3) We now enter the time of year when anxiety about the weather takes over. And looking at today's extended forecast, which is rain or dark clouds until Wednesday only relieved by sun on Sunday, I'm hoping to appease the sun god enough to come out Thursday and stay out until Sunday evening. No one wants to go to the rain plan!

Thursday Morning, May 31

1) It's time to put the mod in spasmodic.

2) You know how you can look at a person and not recognize them until it's too late? And how that can be awkward (for any number of reasons)? Happened to me twice yesterday.

3) One week from today . . .

Wednesday Morning, May 30

1) Feeling obligated to have Etiquetteer say something about that dreadful Roseanne Barr getting her comeuppance, but the words cannot claw their way through the combined crust of early morning and professional urgency. Could we just please put a worldwide hold on any bad, engaging, teachable moment news until June 11? Thanks.

1a) All that said, this piece in this morning's Times says many important things.

2) Lately I've been rereading Gone With the Wind for the first time in years, but I'm at the point in the siege of Atlanta when Melanie is about to have her baby, and it is just too stressful. Putting it aside for Katharine Hepburn's book about making The African Queen.

3) Once upon a time I could not begin my day without the comics and the horoscope. This went on for decades. Then about ten years ago I stopped. Instead of buying a newspaper at the T station I read a departed roommate's uncancelled Wall Street Journal, which of course wouldn't have comics or a horoscope. And that was the end of the habit, even after that Journal stopped showing up at my house. Jut like that, this thing I used to care about so much was no longer part of my life.

3a) Remember when we read print newspapers? Sometimes I miss that.

Tuesday Night, May 29

1) A colleague made such a good suggestion that we have saved almost a day on a time-consuming process. #grateful

2) My peonies just will not bloom! There they sit, golf balls waving in the breeze.

3) I know Etiquetteer should be writing something about that dreadful Roseanne right now.