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Encouraging Perfect Propriety in an Imperfect World since 2001
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Beach Etiquette, Vol. 23, Issue 56

September 29, 2024

Etiquetteer recently asked readers on Instagram what bothered them about the beach. Not everyone enjoys the beach in the same way*: some come to let go, others to let loose. Can good manners help us through? Here’s what readers brought up:

Children: Of course children are not going to sit quietly building sand castles or picking up pretty pebbles. There will be shrieking and shouting and running about after a ball. Use that knowledge to spread your towel where children are less likely to be. (Generally that means further from the entrance and the facilities.) When children accidentally invade your space (for instance, running over your towel during a game) you have the right to protest. But please be kind, too; Etiquetteer is sure they didn’t mean to. If the behavior continues, though, you need to tell the Responsible Adults.

Noise: Sometimes there’s that one voice that cuts through the surf. (And sometimes that voice is Etiquetteer’s . . . 😬.) This might be audacious, but you could offer an Unsolicited Opinion on their conversation, such as “You know I couldn’t help overhearing what you said, and I must disagree. Let me explain . . .” “Hey, they is a private conversation!” “Indeed? Then you should have it in a private place so no one else can hear it.” Etiquetteer does not guarantee success with this approach, but it will certainly make the point that the beach is not one’s private parlor.

Loud Music/Radios: One reader said “Other people’s music. It’s never Cole Porter or Ravel.” But that needn’t stop you from either blasting original cast recordings yourself or handing out lyric sheets for a surfside Kiss Me, Kate! sing-along. Etiquetteer offered a couple suggestions last year.

Expired Sunscreen: So easy to check before you leave the house, dahling. But always bring a coverup, just in case.

One thing no one mentioned was pets, specifically unattended pets galloping over your towel, or even trying to move in. Leash laws still apply. Pet owners, supervise your pets!

One last thing: don’t stare at other beachgoers, it’s rude.

Etiquetteer wishes you a beautiful and Perfectly Proper day at the beach, whether that’s frolicking in the surf, or in the shadiest corner of the cabana.

*Indeed, some readers do not enjoy the beach at all.

← Extra-Wedding Dinners, Vol. 23, Issue 57Inappropriate Dance Floor Behavior, Vol. 23, Issue 55 →
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