Dear Etiquetteer:
What’s the etiquette around walking back an accepted job offer. I’ve heard of two people who needed to do so recently.
Dear Jobbing:
If a successful applicant has accepted a position and then decided not to take it — or if an employer has rescinded an accepted job offer — the most important thing to do is to communicate that information, in writing, as swiftly as possible. Consideration for others is the bedrock of good manners everywhere, including the workplace. People make plans based on a new job that could be irreversible — as for instance, giving notice at one’s current job. To leave people hanging doesn’t speak well to Who You Are (or Your Company). So responding promptly isn’t just about Perfect Propriety, it’s also about confirming the impression you want to make of Who You Are.
Here’s a sample communication; tailor with specifics as needed:
Dear [Insert Name of Employer Contact Here]:
I was grateful to be chosen for the position we have been speaking about. After consideration, I have decided that the position is not going to be the best fit for me, and have chosen to make other plans. As you reopen the search for this position, I want to thank you and the team for your time and goodwill. I wish you the best as you reopen the search.
Yours sincerely,
[Insert Your Signature Here]
Etiquetteer deplores the current practice of ghosting in the professional world, whether it’s a company or an employee doing the ghosting. (This piece in Forbes delves into it further and is worth your time: “This cold avoidance of sharing feedback is disorienting and discouraging for candidates. They feel taken advantage of, as they put in a lot of time and effort interviewing, and held certain expectations for the outcome as they moved further into the process.”) Yes, communicating uncomfortable news is part of the workplace, but that doesn’t mean avoiding it altogether is an acceptable alternative. Suck it up, Buttercup!
Etiquetteer wishes you frank, courteous, and successful communications in the workplace, and elsewhere.