“Frivolity is a stern taskmaster.” — Zippy the Pinhead
“Look! We’ve made enchantment!” — Blanche DuBois in A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams
Last Saturday night Etiquetteer attended Le Diner en Blanc, a very large BYOE* dinner party with a very strict all-white dress code held in dozens of cities around the world. “Although the technology behind this fantastic event may have changed over the years,” declares their official website, “the principles fueling it have not; guests continue to gather at a secret location with the sole purpose of sharing a gourmet meal with good friends at the heart of one of their city’s most beautiful locations.” What could be more Perfectly Proper than that?
By its very nature — dressy, somewhat strenuous, and gregarious — the DEB audience selects itself. To convene 1,500 people and their equipment (tables, chairs, decorations, etc.) and then march them all to a secret location no more than 15 minutes away on foot — that’s a lot. Two overarching etiquette principles stood out: be prepared, because your arrangements will impact others; and be prepared to enjoy yourself no matter what — what the late W. Clement Stone famously called Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude.
The walk to the secret location begins with the guests lining up at a muster point in assigned order behind their table leader and following as briskly as local street traffic allows. This becomes challenging when someone’s dolly or wagon breaks down, scattering folding chairs and holding up everyone in the back; or when the lights change before everyone can cross the street. There’s nothing like a good dress rehearsal, or an extra bungee cord. Everyone can keep up when you take extra care.
Observe all this gear!
On site, swift setup keeps the event moving seamlessly. Knowing how your equipment is assembled is really important! The theme of this year’s DEB was “elegance,” for which Etiquetteer used this definition: “dignified gracefulness or restrained beauty of style.” For the table in this first year, Etiquetteer opted for a tiny centerpiece of white flowers and two crystal votives over plain but old white damask. Others, veterans no doubt, were astonishing in their constructions.
But one needs to be prepared for accidents, in this case the weather. High winds blew over that tiny centerpiece in only five minutes, soaking parts of the tablecloth. Thank goodness for an extra damask napkin to cover the mess! Another party nearby had to disassemble their elaborate tablescape, which included two-foot tall goblets and candlesticks even taller, dripping with mirror fringe. They must have seen another definition of elegance: “tasteful richness of design or ornamentation.” Etiquetteer heard that they accepted sacrificing their over-the-top decorations in the proper spirit.
This would not have been Perfectly Proper.
A party like this with a strict dress code to achieve a specific effect — in this case, a vista of elegant white — is naturally going to call attention to what people wear, especially if they don’t pay attention. And you could tell who read the assignment, and who didn’t. At least no one showed up in red like Bette Davis in Jezebel! Etiquetteer found the — how to say this? — the wide interpretation of the word “elegant” particularly American, and therefore brisk and bracing. Ladies definitely embraced fascinators and beautiful white hats. More than a few gentlemen, like Etiquetteer, chose white linen suits. (If you’re getting a new one, don’t make the rookie mistake of forgetting to snip the basting threads.)
But for an event that stresses “no ivory, cream, or eggshell,” one doesn’t realize how many shades of white there are until attending an event like this. This is why it’s always a good idea to rehearse your look well in advance. But let’s face it, stationing fashion police** at an event with so many moving parts would simply not be Perfectly Proper, let alone feasible. An event like this is treated as a costume party, which means many gentlemen wore white hats — and kept them on throughout dinner, which is ordinarily Not Perfectly Proper***. But after the organizers made such a point of saying “no black hatbands,” Etiquetteer saw more than a few. And more than a few sagging slacks, as a lot of men just didn’t wear belts. A white belt is not hard to come by, gents.
But, as Boris Lermontov so memorably said in The Red Shoes, “An impression of great simplicity can only be achieved by a great agony of body and spirit.” Errant bungees, high winds, and overturned glasses notwithstanding, Le Diner en Blanc made the most beautiful impression of shimmering white lightly sparked with candlelight, silver, and gold, and rippling with laughter and cheers. Which just goes to show that when everyone makes an effort, the results can be outstanding. What could be more Perfectly Proper than that?
*Bring Your Own Everything.
**Would they be brandishing Pantone color wheels?
***Always excepting religious headgear, of course.