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Etiquetteer

Encouraging Perfect Propriety in an Imperfect World since 2001
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Etiquetteer contemplating elegance and other things at Beauport, the Sleeper-McCann House.

Observations, Vol. 22, Issue 46

October 15, 2023

Elegance is unobtrusive. Earbuds are elegant. Boom boxes are not. The problem is that not everyone desires elegance, or considers it desirable.

When dinner is served family style* and dishes are passed around the table, they should all pass in the same direction. Serve yourself, and pass the dish to the right. You may offer the rolls to the person on your left before passing them to the right; don’t let your left-hand neighbor start them going to the left. (Etiquetteer gathers that in Great Britain, all dishes are passed to the left, but in the United States they are passed to the right.)

Don’t ask for someone’s email address (or other contact information) more than once, especially if you’re in retail. If they want you to have their contact information (which everyone suspects you want only to put on your mailing list), they’ll provide it. Persistence appears unattractive.

Candles belong on a dining table only when they are being used, or possibly when your home is being photographed for a shelter magazine. Otherwise, remove them to the sideboard. It is immaterial to Etiquetteer whether or not the wicks have been burned.

When dinner is announced, it is not really Perfectly Proper to bring your cocktail to the table. There will be other beverages served with the meal. Finish it, or don’t, and leave it on a table. (Etiquetteer has had to direct a Pointed Glance at That Mr. Dimmick on more than one occasion about this.)

When joining a meeting late, Etiquetteer does understand one’s desire to get caught up on what was missed. But it is unfair to more punctual attendees to insist on an exhaustive review, or anything beyond “We were just discussing [Insert Agenda Item Here].” It’s also unproductive to provide a dramatic or out-of-breath explanation for your tardiness. Just say “I’m sorry to be late” and listen attentively.

*In the 19th century this would be referred to as service á la Française. Everything sounds snappier in French, n’est ce pas?

← Who Killed Society? II, Vol. 22, Issue 67Room Serving Tipping, Vol. 22, Issue 65 →
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