On New Year’s Eve Etiquetteer closed out volume 20 with a different sort of New Year’s resolution idea: instead of making the world (or yourself) better, why not stop what you do that makes the world ugly? Social Media Dialogue (or what passes for it) might just be the single greatest dumpster fire threatening Perfect Propriety today. So of course Etiquetteer is looking at That Mr. Dimmick Who Thinks He Knows So Much, who still — after concerted effort — could respond with less heat and more light to certain online discussions. He was quite right on New Year’s Eve to say he needed to make his contributions “less immediate and more considered.” It will save Etiquetteer having to poke him with that rapier so much.
But perhaps you have noticed some reminder messages that have begun appearing on a couple platforms in the last few weeks? Etiquetteer was quite put out when first seeing the popup “Help keep Instagram a supportive place. Remember to follow our Community Guidelines and be respectful when messaging others.” Just why was this showing up in Etiquetteer’s IG inbox? Etiquetteer is not contributing to this problem! And a random survey of IG followers indicates that this message does not show up universally, which made Etiquetteer even huffier. As Dear Mother used to say “The innocent suffer for the guilty.” But there are probably many Instagram users who are choosing their words more carefully as a result, and that’s a good thing.
On Twitter, the universal message is "Some conversations can get heavy. Don't forget the human behind the screen." And since Twitter is famous for the inflammatory and rapid-fire nature of its interchanges, Etiquetteer agrees that this is something every Twitter user should see. What would really make a difference on this platform — and others, but especially Twitter — is accelerated removal of bots and Obviously Fake Accounts. Twitter invites us not to “forget the human behind the screen,” but more often than not it’s not a human behind the screen, but a bot. It may be too late to Save Twitter for Perfect Propriety; let’s see what the New Year holds.
As you evaluate your own social media usage in the New Year, here are a few things to consider:
Simplify. Review your entire portfolio of social media platforms, and perhaps delete those which are no longer serving you well. If it feels like an obligation to log in, that might be a sign.
Pause. When you read something that makes your temperature rise, don’t give into that urge to flame out right away. Especially if it’s someone you know personally (you are surely going to keep knowing this person a long time after your reply) and especially if it’s a total stranger (who will not care, and who might actually be a bot anyway). And particularly in the latter case, it’s often better not to engage.
Research. Just because someone put it on the internet doesn’t make it true. Get the facts on your own, and then decide whether or not to respond. Yes, that could take more time than you want.
Block/Report. Etiquetteer recommends blocking bots, spam, and Obviously Fake Accounts whenever encountered. Your criteria may vary, but on Instagram Etiquetteer routinely blocks any account having anything to do with a) cryptocurrency, Bitcoin, Forex, etc., b) accounts purporting to be single women looking for serious relationships, c) empty accounts with no profile picture, zero posts, and ten times the number of followers than following. On Twitter — mercy, some of them are just so obvious. Much better just to leave the platform. Honestly.
Etiquetteer wishes you a New Year of Perfectly Proper Social Media Interactions — even if that means you decide to retreat from social media for your mental health, which is often the Most Perfectly Proper thing to do.