When did you go to your last party? Not a small dinner at the home of friends, not a holiday meal with family, but an actual honest-to-goodness dress-up cocktail party? For Etiquetteer it’s been since February 29, 2020, just before quarantine began. In the intervening year and a half, our Perfect Propriety has gotten rusty with the Absence of Other People. So how wonderful to reopen the Social Window last night at the twice-postponed benefit reception for the Gibson House Museum! With roughly 70 people, mostly masked, in four high-ceilinged rooms, it was very much what the late Noel Coward would have called “a marvelous party.”
Etiquetteer just could not get over the excitement of seeing people in party clothes again. Many of the ladies took the 1920s theme seriously to sport headbands* of feathers and beads, velvet cloche hats, tiny handbags, and seriously sequined dresses to evoke the flapper look. Some of the gentlemen, too, celebrated the era with everything from crisp black tie to newsboy caps.** For Etiquetteer it was nothing short of a thrill to put on a suit and bow tie again, along with a matching mask. It’s been too long!
Because masks were very much a part of the evening, due to the venue’s wise protocols to prevent COVID spread as much as possible. The guests were all aware in advance and knew that masking throughout the evening was required. Managing a drink and an occasional hors d’oeuvre is challenging enough even without a mask. Settling near a surface made it easier to set down a glass, slip a mask off one ear, consume a Tasty Morsel, and remask. Etiquetteer got quite adept (especially as a lover of hors d’oeuvres), but a little practice at home beforehand will make the next party smoother.
It’s all about accessorizing, in this case with a matching mask and bow tie.
Finally, it looks like the handshake is making a comeback, but not everyone is quite sure they want to be shaking hands again. Several people instinctively returned to extending the traditional Gracious Gesture, but others were unsure. We saw the full range of Alternate Gestures of Greeting, from elbow bumps to fist air bumps (making a fist bump from a distance) to the Slight Bow (which Etiquetteer prefers) — everything but a Booty Bump. Etiquetteer predicted earlier that the handshake would not come back . . . and yet here it is. While the phrase “I don’t shake hands” used not to be Perfectly Proper at all, the time is coming when it will be, delivered with a Slight Bow and an air of apology. As long as we all acknowledge in a friendly way that everyone is still adjusting, we’ll do well.
But what was nicest to see was the evident joy everyone had in being back at a party again. A show of hands indicated that, like Etiquetteer, well over the half the room had chosen to make this benefit reception their first almost-post-pandemic party. And as Coward Himself would have said, “I couldn’t have liked it more.”
*These used to be known as “headache bands,” believe it or not.
**A gentleman does not wear a hat indoors (unless it’s religious headgear, of course), but when considered part of a costume’s theme, allowances must be made.