Dear Etiquetteer:
How does one thank a medical care team these days? I'm not sure what’s appropriate or welcome these days. Recently, I quite unexpectedly found myself in the hospital for a couple of days after a surprise emergency. The nursing staff took such good care of me; I want them to know how much I appreciate their kindness and patience.
Secondly, my neighbors have absolutely been amazing, the other half of my medical care team. This is just a short list; other neighbors have been just as wonderful.
B brought me first to the emergency room and then to the hospital. She also served as “communications officer” for my other neighbor and my family. She picked me up when I was discharged and later that afternoon brought over three fully prepared dinners. Her career was in healthcare, and her help and advice have been invaluable.
D brought me a lovely plant when I got home, cleaned up the mess I’d left in the kitchen while I was hospitalized, and has also brought more meals for me. If she’s going anywhere she checks in to see if I need anything from the store.
G came yesterday with a small gift and another dinner, and dessert (!).
I realize the best repayment is to “pay it forward” and I have every intention of doing so. In the mean time I'd like to express my gratitude in a more tangible way to the hospital staff and everyone for everything they've done.
Dear Recovering:
First, let Etiquetteer rejoice at your salvation from medical distress, and wish you the most Perfectly Proper recovery.
Paying it forward to others is indeed a Perfectly Proper thing to do, but so is paying it back; these two forms of Gratitude are not mutually exclusive. And especially since the coronavirus pandemic has strained medical staff worldwide, that’s a community that really needs to feel personal appreciation right now.
A Lovely Note is always heartfelt and Perfectly Proper, but if handwriting is too taxing at this early stage of your recovery, then you must be content to share your thanks verbally, or ask someone to take dictation for you. For your medical team, however, Etiquetteer definitely wants to suggest gifts of edible treats that can be shared in the break room or nursing station, with a note that can be tacked onto the bulletin board. Whether you send a big hamper of gourmet snacks, a sheet cake, chocolates, or big boxes of fresh doughnuts, they will be appreciated. Depending on the number, you might want to do individual gifts — but be sure no one has been left out*. As important is a Glowing Letter of Gratitude sent to the hospital CEO or other leader. You’ll find additional suggestions from the pros at Nursing Home Volunteer.
Your neighbors sound absolutely wonderful! Etiquetteer suspects you know each of them well enough to know what kinds of things they like, whether books or plants or foodstuffs. Otherwise, flowers are always Perfectly Proper, and an arrangement from your local florist would be a treat that few people ever order for themselves.
Etiquetteer wishes you well as you pay it back and forward, and to the continuance of your good health.
*When Dear Father was living in residential nursing care, Dear Mother would prepare individual little gifts for every member of the staff who worked with him — but she was there every day for months and knew them all. Your hospital stay may have kept you from meeting all the staff involved in your care.