In the world of Perfect Propriety, no one is supposed to look at the labels. At least you’re not supposed to get caught doing it. The labels in question used to be china and ladies’ dresses, back when dresses were more elaborate and ladies (perhaps) more competitive about their clothes.
As to china, Etiquetteer was deeply scarred in college by an elderly friend of Dear Granny’s when accompanying her to a fashion show luncheon at the True Ritz-Carlton*. Hardly had she sat down at the table when she aggressively picked up the service plate to look at the trademark underneath. It was mortifying to see the waiter’s observation of this behavior, but when you are the guest, how can you remonstrate with your hostess?
In this century, the labels in question now usually concern food. As Science and Medicine have revealed to us how certain foods make susceptible people ill, so now more people with food-based illnesses are “asking how the pudding is made” and what goes into it. (Lizzie Post and Dan Post Senning provide excellent advice to a listener with celiac issues on the latest episode of their Awesome Etiquette podcast. Tune in.)
Hosts are wise to be sensitive to guests with serious medical issues. There’s nothing like the need for an ambulance to bring down a dinner party. To their recommendations, Etiquetteer would actually add the possibility of bringing your own refreshments. The late Gloria Swanson famously became a vegetarian in midlife and shared in her memoir Swanson on Swanson that, when invited to a dinner, she’d bring her own little sandwich and slip it to the butler on arrival. If you feel your own dietary needs are too extensive to expect your hosts to accommodate, alert them in advance that you plan to bring your own refreshments.
On a somewhat related note, since this is National CBD Day, in which those so inclined are invited to celebrate the wonders of hemp-derived cannabidiol and other cannabinoids, it’s essential to remember that any food you serve that contains cannabinoids needs to be labeled as such. If these are pre-purchased edibles, retain the original packaging. If you’ve prepared them yourself, make a little sign. Aside from Experienced Partakers who want to know what they’re getting into, it is a Very Naughty Thing and Not At All Perfectly Proper to get people high without them knowing it. Lizzie Post has some wonderful guidance on this subject in her groundbreaking book Higher Etiquette; you can read Etiquetteer’s review of it here.
*The hotel at the corner of Arlington and Newbury Streets in Boston, which from 1927-2006 was the Ritz-Carlton and is now the Newbury, will always be the True Ritz-Carlton.