Christmas Vacation, Day Two

1) I read the news today, oh boy: Trump shutdown, Mattis resignation, Ginsburg surgery. No matter what I did today, all this news (and fears for the entire country) went with me.

2) Mother and I had a late breakfast around 10 AM. I was simply not in a space to write Christmas cards, so around noon I headed out to the mall for some shopping. I managed some victories and got nice presents for everyone remaining on my list! The saleslady in houseware at the Anchor Department Store has only lived in lovely Lago di Carlo for four months. I’m always astonished that people choose to move here, but apparently she’s had family here for the last 15 years and “was just tired of winter” where she used to live. So, bravo!

3) The traffic down here is reaching impossible gridlock, approaching Bostonian levels of backup.

4) Today was the 25th birthday of Younger Nephew Who Must Not Be Tagged, and as it happened he was free for me to take him and Mother to dinner. He chose a country-style steakhouse near Mother’s, and they gave us a good dinner. Younger Nephew Who Must Not Be Tagged is not always the most talkative person, but I was able to learn more from him about his new job, plans and renovations for the house he and his wife bought earlier this year, and what they’ve been doing with the produce on their little property: lemons and other fruit from trees already on the property, peppers from their hanging plants, and an eggplant that, after careful tending, a squirrel looted from them.

4a) It make me think of my own 25th birthday, when two friends took me out to Dyrgin-Park during the period they had an outpost at Costly Space, and they gave me a Swatch watch (which was then the must-have accessory). Even though the strap’s broken, I think I still have it.

5) Scrabble after dinner! Mother and I faced off and I ended up victorious 337 to 271.

6) This being the solstice, we went out to look at the moon, small and such a pure white, a white that only the moon can achieve. I took this portrait of Mother before we went in. Isn’t she adorable?!

7) Now I am listening to the score of Giselle, fearful for the morrow. A friend posted on ye Fycebykke “My feeling? It’s all gonna blow like a boil, and soon.” Trying not to feel too fin du monde, and not really succeeding. Halley’s Comet brought down the Marcos and Duvalier regimes in 1986. What regimes might this solstice cast down . . . or elevate?

Christmas Vacation, Day One, Part Two - Arrival

1) The preponderance of young people and Asian-Americans on my first flight yielded to a preponderance of military and travelers in wheelchairs on my second flight. Five or six soldiers in full-on combat fatigues, including one woman, were traveling to LCH, and I counted four travelers in wheelchairs exiting the arriving flight.

1a) The unique moment en route was a passenger seated in the row ahead of me opening his safety card and finding a large smiley face sticker inside it. The flight attendant saw it out of the corner of her eye, did a double take, and came back to exclaim over it. “They should all have those stickers!” she said.

2) Lago di Carlo has exactly one Lyfte driver on duty at midday, but he made to the airport in 11 minutes. After a stop at the gas station, he got me home safe and sound. Retired from professional life, he actually lives not far from my sister, but was in LCH visiting his girlfriend for Christmas.

3) Mother had a bit of lunch ready for me in the midst of a lot of present-wrapping, and we got to catch up briefly on many things before I sank down for a NAP.

4) Rising just in time for the cocktail hour (I really needed that sleep!) I discovered that the cabinet over the freezer contained only a dusty half-empty bottle of dry vermouth, which is a bit wispy for the cocktail hour by my standards. I retired to the big bathtub with a small glass and my annual end-of-year ritual, the final double-issue of The Economist with predictions for the coming year.

5) After a light dinner, I corralled Mother in making a list for our “battle plan” to be ready for Christmas. She has refilled all the tables with papers, so obviously clearing those off will be important. And we started then and there!

6) Unfortunately for my sleep, I checked the news before bed and was appalled to learn of the resignation of Mattis and the President’s rejection of the stopgap government funding bill.

7) Now, after a middling night’s sleep, alarmed at the news of Whitaker clearing himself to oversee the Mueller investigation.

8) Mother’s daily devotional book included her pencilled note “[Insert Name of Younger Nephew Who Must Not Be Tagged Here]’s Birthday.” So I hope we will get to take him and his wife out to dinner this evening.

Christmas Vacation 2018, Day One - Travel

1) Right now I’m laying over at my beloved Pappadeaux’s Seafood Kitchen by Gate A24, DFW, with a big cup of coffee and a big dish of shrimp etouffée. Who cares that this is breakfast?! #omnomnom

2) I was up like a stone at 3 AM and at the airport in 45 minutes thanks to Yber. This was my first middle-of-the-night-to-the-airport ride, and the fact that the driver showed up only four minutes after I put out the call automatically made it ten times better than Boston Cab. (When they say “Ten minutes” it means “Call again in ten minutes to see if we’ve assigned a cab.”) And the cost was 50-75% less than some of the car services I’ve had to use.

2a) The down side was that the GPS sent this driver on what I’d consider a VERY indirect route through Franklin Park and Dorchester. In a taxi that would affect the price, but not in an Yber.

3) Unusually for this flight, there were a lot of young people. One young man sitting behind me was somewhat noisily speaking two languages and playing at high speed with a large Rubik’s Cube before takeoff.

4) Waiting to exit the aircraft here in DFW, I slipped my beautiful new iPhone into my jacket pocket. Imagine my surprise when it didn’t stop at the pocket and just kept slipping down the inside the jacket. Oops, didn’t know about that hole!

5) Just remembering that I left dishes to soak in the kitchen sink . . . oops again!

6) On with the journey! When I get to Lago di Carlo I expect my checked bag, a Lyfte home, my sweet mama waiting for me with a tuna sandwich, and a NAP. And then laying out battle plans for Christmas shopping, wrapping, decorating, and meals, not in that order.

Wednesday Morning, December 19

1) This is what candlelight coffee can look like with just a half-loaded candelabra. Imagine going full strength . . .

1a) First time I’ve done this - usually I just light one candle - but I must say, it gave a lift to my spirit.

2) The list of things to accomplish in the next 22 hours . . . well, I just don’t think I’m going to get it all done. As long as I make the plane, though, I’ll be doing OK.

3) I’ve never felt less ready for Christmas. Mother and I had a nice long talk last night, and she’s not feeling ready either. I had to remind her that we’re both in this together and that we can do it!

3a) She was also full of praise and gratitude for Younger Nephew Who Must Not Be Tagged, who repaired one of her beloved scrap wood Christmas trees made by a longtime Dimmick Supply Employee, and taken care of some other household repair type things.

Monday Morning, December 17

1) I just saw a photo captioned “Black mango foliage,” and I thought “That’d be a fabulous name for a band.”

2) Pre-Christmas panic has officially set in. Three days left in the office, much of which will be meetings. I haven’t finished my Christmas letter (and therefore haven’t even pretended to get my cards out). My shopping is far from done. I never entertain at Christmastime, but this year I’ve unaccountably broken my unbreakable rule to have a few friends over tonight. I’d scream, but I’m too sleepy. :-)

3) As the doctor said in Mrs. Dalloway, it’s time to “regain a sense of proportion.”

Sunday Morning, December 16

1) After five unbroken hours of sleep, awoke naturally just a whisper before 6 AM. Chicory coffee and devotional. Padding around quietly as the second-floor neighbors had a party last night and I’m sure they are sleeping late.

1a) Their party was officially over and the building reasonably quiet when I came home from my party after midnight. For the last five years I’ve been invited to a dance in Cambridge every December in a fun, beautiful loft space for artists and those who love them. A good-sized rectangular space with double-height ceilings, including half-height walled spaces for bedrooms and a bathroom. Spaces defined by strings of lights in the ceiling and rugs on the floor. A spiral staircase leading to I forget what, and various domestic appendages.

1b) Last night had a great vibe, but I got to a very mellow place myself, and was strangely comfortable letting my inner introvert out. For over half an hour I sat quite unconcernedly in a cream wingback chair sipping prosecco out of a highball glass and, um, enjoying the passing show.

2) Today is completely unscheduled, now that yoga’s been cancelled this evening, and I am not leaving the house. Creativity and domesticity are in my plans, and planning.

3) The new phone has changed my life in unexpected ways. I don’t think I’ve read a book on my commute since I got it’ now it’s more usual for me to read the NYT or the Globe on my phone instead. Even more unexpected, today I am going to toss out my elderly, disintegrating alarm clock, which I have had and used since graduate school - over 30 years! And when I say disintegrating I mean I can’t pick it up from the top without the bottom falling off. The snooze hasn’t worked in over 20 years. And the phone’s alarm feature is mighty easy to use. So . . . one less thing to gather dust in my house!

Friday Afternoon, December 14 - From the Notepads

A few months ago I started trying to initiate a regular Friday afternoon weekly review, really an opportunity to weed through any written notes and other detritus on my desk to round up action items and plan for the week ahead. I’ve found some interesting quotes and other things today:

• “It can’t be a debate if there’s screaming.”

• “Science engineers’ petting zoo”

• Smell of chocolate and rubber - olfactory exhibition

• We need an index of ALL feature content

Friday Midday, December 14

1) The mood is good. What a difference a good night’s sleep makes!

1a) How refreshing to have rediscovered Lonnie Gordon.

2) So many important anniversaries today, that I know about only thanks to social media: the death of Washington, the death of Prince Albert, and the birthday of Maine Senator Margaret Chase Smith, who famously called out That Skunk Joe McCarthy. #ittakesawoman

2a) From her "Declaration of Conscience" speech: "Today our country is being psychologically divided by the confusion and the suspicions that are bred in the United States Senate to spread like cancerous tentacles of 'know nothing, suspect everything' attitudes . . . I don’t want to see the Republican Party ride to political victory on the Four Horsemen of Calumny: Fear, Ignorance, Bigotry, and Smear."

2b) And did I mention she was the only woman in the Senate at the time? Truly, it takes a woman!

3) A skim of ice covers parts of the river outside my office window today, blazing with sun. If Monet had been in a good mood in London, he’d’ve painted the Thames this way.

Thursday Midday, December 13

1) If you’re gonna be in a bad mood, then dayum, be in it with some flair!

2) FEED ME ALL THE COOKIES!

3) For this evening, my horoscope said that I should both “put up my feet and relax” and “try to get into weekend mode.” So how fortunate that I have a massage appointment to look forward to. #salvation

Monday Evening, December 10

1) Whaaaaaat . . . does the saying go that once it happens twice it’s a tradition? One “tradition” I’m eager to nip in the bud is getting a cold the first week of December. I was just about to start whining about everything I had to miss over the weekend, and then stopped. (You’re welcome.) but last year I caught a bad cold at a memorial service in time for it to finish up at Repeal Day, and this year I caught a cold in time for it to be well-started for Repeal Day, and I am done if that’s the way it’s gonna be from now on.

1a) The solution: a big pot of chikhirtma, which I’ll be eating on until at least Wednesday. Chicken soup’s the best thing for a cold, yes?!

2) Thanks to the miracle of the Yewtybbe, I have finally seen all of Myra Breckinridge, and all I can say is, it’s no wonder Gore Vidal had his name removed from the picture.

3) When you write about etiquette, it feels worse when you make a faux pas yourself. So even with a cold, I was horrified to discover a short string of “Where are you?” texts. I completely missed a dinner at the home of a friend tonight. He and the other guests, mutual friends, were all very understanding, which is beautiful, but I am less so.

Friday Morning, December 7

1) Today is Pearl Harbor Day. My parents made their first trip to Hawaii in the mid-1970s (I was about to say 1977, but I know for certain it was Rome that year) and brought me back a paperback photo book all about the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. That’s how I learned about the “day that will live in infamy.”

2) I’ve been looking forward to this weekend for a long time. I have Etiquetteer’s Repeal Day Celebration tonight, and for the first time it is SOLD OUT. I have a visiting friend from Vermont, a haircut, and a Hanukkah party tomorrow. I have a Christmas brunch with my best friends and then a Christmas party in New Hampshire (!) on Sunday. And now I have . . . a cold!

2a) I could feel it starting after lunch yesterday. One blow in a handkerchief slowly became an omnipresent drip, and I began sneezing with greater than usual ferocity and frequency.

2b) If we ever cast Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs at the office, while some might be tempted to cast me as Grumpy or Dopey - hell, as Tallulah or Phyllis Diller! - the only possible role for me is Sneezy.

3) Last night my third floor neighbor brought down my dinner (part of our sharing economy) and the children came, too, full of curiosity and high spirits. The Young Master (who is not yet three) said they had a Christmas tree upstairs and was looking for mine. I pointed out my big vases of holly from the garden, which just aren’t quite the same thing.

Thursday Morning, December 6

1) Quote of the Day: “The biggest risk in engaging a bully is that bullies don’t usually stop, regardless of what the truth is.” — Charles Chamberlain, executive director for the progressive political group Democracy for America. While this is in an article about Senator Elizabeth Warren’s DNA test as a response to the taunting from President Trump, I’ve seen it in so many places in my life.

2) Signed a LOT of holiday cards at the office yesterday. Looking at all the addresses made me mourn the passing of honorifics. I like to see an address that begins with Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr., Rev., Professor, etc. and not just a name.

3) Mercy goodness, the Repeal Day party is tomorrow!

Wednesday Morning, December 5

1) Sometimes I get exercised about something and become a tower of rage. I’m not proud of it, God knows - my mamma brought me up better than that - but it happens, especially if it involves Verizon. Which would bring us to a ring on my doorbell at 8 PM (!) Monday evening. At that hour some young man with untidy hair and a Verizon crossing guard vest wanted me to stand around talking about how to cut my bill in half - and did I mention I wasn’t wearing pants? Infuriating - and i let him know! Later, over my dinner at Doyle’s, I found out from one of my favorite waitresses that they’d ordered him out of Doyle’s because he was bothering staff and customers!

1a) I was so exercised I began attempting to contact Verizon to get them to stop sending people to my house - a practically futile effort. Just to access the account online you need a password, security code, answer to a secret question, a glyph, and the blood of a virgin sacrificed under a full moon with a stainless steel blade manufactured in a NATO country. Once in, and once the bots did their thing, I waited forever for a chat to begin. It didn’t. Attempts to interact through ye Fycebykke were equally bot-oriented and futile.

1b) The matter was finally resolved Tuesday afternoon via more failed bot-initiated chat attempts and actually reaching a person on the 800 number. This is more difficult than it sounds. The rep I spoke to last, Greg, fell all over himself apologizing (which was appropriate), coded my record so I won’t be contacted this away again, and explained what was going on. I at least got to leave this frustrating odyssey feeling that I had been heard.

1c) I really do need to get a little brass plaque for my doorbell that says “No Soliciting, Canvassing, or Proselytizing.”

2) Possibly as a result of all this unnecessary temper on my part, Tuesday afternoon a painful headache began to flower all the way down to the bottom of my shoulder blades. After dinner, two ibuprofen before turning out the lights and retiring at 9 PM (!).

2a) In the night I woke from a dream with the storm music from the William Tell Overture in my head (and why not?) and it reminded me of the story records I had as a boy: William Tell, Robinson Crusoe, Treasure Island - were there others? The stories of these classic novels narrated by actors with classical music in the background and other sound effects. I had not thought of those in years.

2b) OMG, a quick search of ye Yewtybbe reveals they were Tale Spinners for Children! Here’s Treasure Island. “Not with a barrel of apples aboard!”

3) “Now,” in the words of the late Marguerite Gauthier, “all goes merrily!” A sound night’s sleep always makes the world look better.

Sunday Afternoon (!), December 2 - New Hampshire, Day Two

1) Mercy goodness, it’s almost 1 PM! We stayed up late last night to watch SNL after an evening that started with al fresco cocktails around a bonfire followed by The Damned Don’t Cry and then pork tenderloin and stuffed mushrooms over rice. I must say I slept fitfully, but could not stay in bed past 8 AM. This morning included the tradition of the house, CBS Sunday Morning, and early episodes of a series from 1999 called The Aristocrats (fabulous) while I worked on my column (which I just published, thank God).

2) Yesterday saw the perhaps ironic alignment of the death of President George H.W. Bush on World AIDS Day. Probably the most poignant observation came from Twitter, where someone tweeted that prominent AIDS activist Larry Kramer had survived both Ronald Reagan and George Bush. Reading his obituary in the Times, I observed how much one can forget about a person. I had not at all remembered that Bush 41 had signed the Americans with Disabilities Act into law. Nor had I remembered, as a friend pointed out, that he had also signed the order banning HIV+ people from entering the United States.

3) The week to come is going to be an intensely busy one, and I am trying not to dread it as I enjoy the second half of this gray day at the lake. In the words of the late Belle Poitrine, famous star of stage, screen and television, “The answer to the challenge is always ‘Yes!’”

The beginning of our cocktail bonfire.

Saturday Morning, December 1 - New Hampshire, Day One

1) An impromptu invitation to the lake house of a friend made me think of the words of the Countess Olenska: “I ran away . . . and these kind friends have taken me in. I wanted to be quiet and think things over . . . I feel myself so safe here. I wish that you were with us.”

2) Steak dinner and maple bourbon.

3) This morning, inexplicably, we were lured into exploring Myra Breckinridge. Mercy goodness, what were we thinking?

Friday Morning, November 30

1) I must say, they mix a marvelous manhattan over at ye Cytylyst in Kendall Square. Belated birthday drinks last night with a friend saw us seated by their glass enclosed single-horizontal-line gas fireplace sipping away.

2) This new phone is already changing things for me. For a start, texting is MUCH less onerous (I know, surprise!). Second, I’m alternately appalled and fascinated to find myself scrolling the news during my commute. Finally, the alarm function is so easy I may actually toss out my disintegrating alarm clock from graduate school and just use the phone. #notquiteminimalism

2a) Where are the NSFW emojis?!

3) Over on Etiquetteer’s Fycebykke page, there’s more interest in a news story about a forest fire started by a gender reveal party than my column on Joan Crawford’s My Way of Life, which I guess doesn’t really surprise me (I mean, Joan Crawford’s been around for centuries, but the intersection of forest fires and gender reveals is VERY new), but still . . .

Wednesday Night, November 28

1) A truly restless day in my head. It took effort to concentrate, but I did at least get two web pages designed and a few other things taken care of.

1a) During midday meditation (a former staffer comes in most Wednesday to conduct) I found myself remembering and focusing on things I needed to do. In a complete state of calm, I left at the break to take care of them.

2) You must try the Kentucky Waterfall at Abigail’s in Kendall Square.

3) If my calculations are correct, and if everyone on the list who’s said they’re coming pays up, there are only TWO places left for Repeal Day next week! This just may be a first.

Monday, November 26

1) Yes, the season of Christmas bow ties has begun.

2) One of the Emily Post crew posted a photo of this book DON’T on their Twitter feed, and I’m all “OH MY GOD, I HAVE A COPY OF THAT BOOK!”

2a) “Look that up in your Funk and Wagnalls!”

3) The new smartphone is already changing my life. First two Ybers and spent my commute flicking through news stories. #ambivalent

Saturday Morning, November 24

1) Thanksgiving was lovely, thank you. After our early-afternoon we paid a visit to the cemetery to see the new marker for my Uncle Bill. They did a good job.

1a) We then inventoried the contents of the little cedar chest in The Room, which contained things we knew about (mohair and wool blankets, lengths of wool) and things we didn’t. Those included my great-grandfather’s fez (he was a Shriner), some exquisite handwork carefully preserved in blue paper, and . . . my mother’s and my uncle’s baby books! These even included tiny locks of their hair.

1b) One of the things that made this week particularly special was our commitment to daily Scrabble. We both love to play, and we didn’t get in even one game back in July. Thanksgiving night, however, poor Mother didn’t stand a chance. The luck of the draw brought me first the Q and then the Z, so that I was able to make QUIZ on a double word score. But then the greatest move of the week was the flash of lightning that revealed to me that I could make FRINGED by using a blank for I and making Mother’s LINT into GLINT. Double word score + 50!

1.b.1) The next best was the two of us tying scores at 284 on Tuesday night.

You see why Daddy always said Mother looked like Ingrid Bergman?

2) Departure morning is always a bit rushed. From rising at 6 AM to departure around 10:30 I was able to a) list all the political organizations and charities from whose mailing lists Mother needs to be purged, b) unloaded the dishwasher, c) cooked up more avocado toast for our breakfast, d) put a sheaf of “Please remove from mailing list” envelopes in the mailbox, e) took in the pottery pumpkin and the autumnal wreath from the front door and hung up the Christmas wreath, f) stripped and remade my bed and washed the sheets, and most important, g) stopped to let Mother show me a time capsule in the garage. This was a box of letters to her from the 1940s, including from a junior high boyfriend and from her parents, and some great photos of her (see above)

3) Travel back home to Boston uneventful - which in the air is always to be wished. Wrote nine or ten pages in my journal from LCH to DFW, wolfed down a cheeseburger in half an hour at DFW (alas, no visit to my beloved Pappadeaux!), read a lot of the latest Economist from DFW to BOS, and got a nice cabbie from Chelsea to taxi me home. Thanksgiving 2018 ended for me (unsurprisingly) with a late dinner at Doyle’s looking up train schedules for NYC after New Year’s.

Thanksgiving Morning, November 22

1) After a novel breakfast of avocado toast, followed by a shower, I’ve essentially been banished from the kitchen by Mother, who wants to work on the vegetable dishes undisturbed at her own pace.

1a) The avocado toast turned out to be the ideal light breakfast for Thanksgiving, topped with a sprinkle of cheddar cheese and a serving of scrambled eggs. Neither lime nor lemon did we have, nor cilantro, as the recipe required, but it was still very good.

2) Mother wants to go to the cemetery later to see the new marker for her brother.

3) The advantage of being the only house guest is that I can sleep in The Room (my usual assignment) but use the guest room as a study since there’s a desk in there. So it’s Forever Amber and weeding of conservative junk mail for me this morning.