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HOLIDAY ETIQUETTE Vol. 1, Issue 27, December 8, 2002 |
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Dear Etiquetteer: I love the holidays! I'm also quite fortunate to be blessed with many good friends and social acquaintances who all enjoy entertaining. Sadly, many of them enjoy entertaining during the -same- one or two Saturday evenings during that all-too-brief series of weekends between Christmas and New Year's Eve. What do I do when I receive three, sometimes four invitations for the same evening in geographically disparate, yet not travel prohibitive, locales within the same state? Do I attempt to make every event? Do I drop in briefly at one, leave shortly thereafter, and make some polite, but clearly unpalatable, excuse in an attempt to be a good guest? Does the geographic disparity make it acceptable for me to excuse myself by saying that I have several parties located closer to one another than one or two others? I don't want to offend! Help!! Dear Only Santa Covers More Territory: Well, aren’t we the Popular Little Miss! You will only miff your hosts and derange yourself trying to make every party. Etiquetteer can just see you rushing up to every household like it was the end of the Boston Marathon, ready to be covered in a tinfoil blanket (garnished with holly) and given a mug of wassail. But no! Off to the next entertainment! You must give the hostess a moist peck on the cheek and then onward! Forgive Etiquetteer when he says “Bah, humbug!” to this exhausting approach. It’s wasteful of fossil fuels and leaves you spending most of your Saturday night in the car instead of actually socializing. Attend the party to which you responded first -- no fair waiting until the night before to decide which party is the most fun! (and you thought Etiquetteer did not know you were holding out . . . ) -- and no more than one other affair. Respond to all other invitations with infinite regret about previous engagements, but your confidence that the parties will be utterly delightful without your presence.
Dear Etiquetteer: Whatever happened to the thank you note? My mother taught me to send them and I always do when I am an overnight guest in someone's home, or I receive an extra special gift (housewarming, graduation, etc). In the last few months, there have been several occasions that I would have expected to receive a note, and I'm still waiting. What gives? Dear Conscientious Correspondent: Etiquetteer could not be more delighted that you happened to ask this question now, as the Lovely Note of Thanks could not be a more important, or neglected, part of the Holiday Season. Etiquetteer understands why Lovely Notes are not sent, and would charitably attribute it to the Fast-Paced Crush of Daily Life in the 21st Century rather than Indifference, Sloth, or Stupidity. But his more unforgiving colleague, Madame Manners the Etiquette Dominatrix, would sweep all that aside with a huge bullwhip labeled “Duty” and force people to Get On With It! Etiquetteer also understands that many people Do Not Know What to Say. Feeling that “Thank you for the nice diamond ring/set of coasters/novelty mouthwash. I like it very much” sounds dorkily inadequate, they write nothing at all, which leaves the giver wondering if offense was taken or if the gift was ever received. So Etiquetteer is pleased to offer Lovely Note Roulette (Gift Version), which operates much the same way that dim sum does: take one phrase from each group and hey presto! a Lovely Note! Group One
Group Two
Group Three
Use Lovely Note Roulette any time you’re feeling bogged down at your escritoire, and feel free to embellish with relevant information, phrases, and humor to make it sound like you. Conclude with “Happy New Year!” because Etiquetteer knows that you’re going to get all your Lovely Notes taken care of before December 31 . . . |
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