Dear Etiquetteer:I have lost a ****load (literally) of weight. I have 5 large black garbage bags full of too-big clothes, and I have a friend I know can wear them and really needs them. Would it be crass of me to offer them to her - "Here are my fat clothes, I thought you could wear them", or should I discreetly donate them to a charity? They are all top brands and clean. Dear Svelter: No reference to avoirdupois need come into your offer to your friend. Say something like "I'm getting rid of a lot of things and wanted to offer you first pick before I take them too [Insert Charity of Your Choice Here]." In subsequent conversations don't even make a reference to her current, and your former, size. It can be the . . . forgive me the pun . . . "the elephant in the room."